Announce protest actions, general chit chat or give your opinion on issues we haven’t covered for the day.
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(satire)
SEAN PLUNKET: Knock knock knock. Sorry to disturb you, but there’s something troubling me, that just couldn’t wait. And since I was going past your office, I thought I would nip in for a quick heads up. Basically, I’m very unhappy about the whole John Banks situation. It just doesn’t sit well with me.
I’m no dinosaur, but if you take a longer term view, I think you can look past all that airy fairy woke criticism, by woke commentators, and woke talkback callers, and the frowns on my fellow woke announcers at the station, and woke advertisers pulling out their woke advertising dollars, and the woke media fake cancel culture – it’s not okay – me too movement – Greta Tunberg type blither blather, and agree with me, that it’s all just a big fuss over nothing.
And when I say this, I’m standing on my substantial record as a preeminent broadcaster over many years. An iconic elder statesman and lovable rogue of the media fraternity with a huge grassroots following, and a keen sense of the public mood combined with unsurpassed journalistic instinct, and personal friend of one Mr Bomber Bradbury.
So, while we’re on the subject, could I just chip in, that perhaps it’s about time I was due for a bump in my pay packet commensurate with my current ratings draw, during these boom times for our radio station.
Perhaps 20% would be in order.
MEDIAWORKS CEO: You’re canned Sean, I’m turfing you out!
SEAN PLUNKET: Ha ha, very funny, but seriously I’d be quite content with a 20% bump down in my pay packet, to show my support for this radio station during these uncertain times.
MEDIAWORKS CEO: Just go!
SEAN PLUNKET: A tough negotiator huh. Ok then, no more mister nice guy. I’m prepared to take a 50% cut in my salary, and that’s my final offer. Take it or leave it.
MEDIAWORKS CEO: No!
SEAN PLUNKET: Well if that’s your attitude, you give me no choice but to regrettably hand in my resignation. Apropo, these hitherto creative difference are just too great for me to continue providing my services. I think it’s best that I now part ways with Mediaworks forthwith, to give myself the freedom to follow my own destiny, and expand the Sean brand unhindered into exciting new spheres. But promise me just one thing…I’m begging you….whatever you do….don’t fill my time slot with that old fart and stalker of Courtney Place, Mr sensible Sainsbury, and his cockamamy ‘Commissioner for the Elderly’ crusade.
I maintain that I still hold Mediaworks in the highest regard, and wish the company the very best with all future endeavors. Please don’t hesitate to look me up, should you ever require my input in terms of my substantial broadcasting acumen, award winning voice over experience, dishwashing prowess and varied janitorial skills, and furthermore….
MEDIAWORKS CEO: Whatever. Just get moving before I call security!
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