Political Caption Competition


JACINDA – Here are the two empty baubles we’ve given the Greens that will inoculate any real criticism from them for the next 3 years. I know, I can’t believe I got them to sign this as well, thank Christ I’ll run for the UN before Swarbrick can.

MARAMA – This is a rich kaupapa of diversity and non gender binary  feminism working hand in glove with social media activists to kill as many white heteronormative cis males as Gaia can feed upon. Let their blood drench the soil so we can all grow sustainable Kumera and Hemp for local artisan co-operatives to fund more social justice projects.

JAMES – My tie is a patriarchal noose that we must cut all men from. but after the Jedi Academy fiasco, I’m not allowed near the butter knives any more in case I accidentally stab both my eyeballs out.

KELVIN –  I’m so awkward my hands don’t know what to do. Am I supposed to be in this photo?


  1. Guess which of us enthusiastically embraces costly high maintenance Kardashian hair styles to signal our rejection of scissors and all symbols of oppression and exploitation and privileged life styles.

  2. 2020 Parliamentary Participation Awards proudly sponsored by Property Investors Federation and ExxonMobil.
    “These annual awards continue to symbolise the importance of maintaining the pretence that anything meaningful can come out of our sham democracy”, event organiser and ANZ Director Sir Jon Khee announced.
    “With the bar set so low, just about everyone gets a prize” he added.

  3. Marama: what a stroke of genius getting James to back that Jedi crystal green school for rich kids.

    I still can’t believe he was dumb enough to fall for it. But with all us girls egging him on hehe.. he couldn’t help himself.

    Now he is the politically neutered co-leader we’ve been craving all along. I had been so jealous how Jacinda had Kelvin.


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