MEDIA WATCH: Where would we be as a country without Kate Hawkesby saying really really really ill thought out clickbait ZB Troll shit?

The Hawke: Polly marry a cracker?

Ummmmm. What?

Kate Hawkesby: Where would we be as a country without Helen Clark chiding us?

I sometimes wonder where we’d be as a country, without Helen Clark chiding us and telling us where we should be.

I mean, how have we got this far, without her in charge anymore?

Not done complaining about the “home invasion of noise” at Eden Park, she’s also pushing for a move to low traffic neighbourhoods. That is, streets reserved just for the residents who live in them – no through traffic, more cycleways, widening of footpaths.

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The Helen Clark Foundation says it’ll be better for our health.

Yet speaking of health, this is also the person aggrieved with the cannabis referendum result. So aggrieved in fact, she wants the Government to rethink it’s stance.

…Ok, ok, ok.

2 things here.

1 – Do we all have a favourite hate Helen Clark moment?

Of course we do!

You can’t be a titan within NZ politics the ways she was and there not be moments you turned away in disgust and anger. For me it was her unconscionable decision to confiscate the foreshore and seabed and the fact she only decided to dismantle the war on drugs after she had the power to do so.

But her righteousness on cannabis reform, her foundations vision when it comes to better designed urban spaces and her leadership on a range of intellectual challenges confronting us at a macro level is unequalled domestically.

Her Eden Park tantrums are the frustrations of a grand old dame who feels she deserves some peace and quiet in her twilight years, and you know what, she probably deserves that.

Hawkesby’s shallow criticism has as much legitimacy as attacking Dr Ashley Bloomfield for his low key suit selection.

Like, sure, you could criticise Bloomfield for dressing like a Government Official at the opening of a Pet Crematorium in Wellington but why be a dick and say that?

What makes this more galling however is that it’s Hawkesby who is criticising Clark for chiding us?

Which beings me to my second point, where the Christ does Hawkesby get off lecturing others on chiding us?

I thought Kate’s hateful attack on a garden in a prison and her weird attack on Meghan Markle were pretty awful columns, but basing an entire one on what MPs wore at a retreat seems so shallow it’s difficult to do anything other than mock it.

The only good news is that the NZ Herald have moved her opinion pieces out of the politics section and into the lifestyle section.

We need WAY more chiding from Helen Clark and far less anything from Kate Hawkesby.


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  1. We have plenty of Kates in our country and I prefer not to listen to hers and her husbands verbal diarrhoea. They are just rich people given a platform by NZ. People like them think they know bests cause they are rich.

    • And why do we continue to have the Kate’s and Mikes of this country still trying to control narratives in our lives, hypocrisy at its highest

    • You prefer Katie Bradford? What was it she said? “ No matter what we talk about, no matter what we do the polls don’t seem to be shifting at all” when trying her best to move the polls labour’s way, at the time a political reporter? Really impartial hey?

  2. “ Do we all have a favourite hate Helen Clark moment ?” No, I don’t. I didn’t like her right from the start, and there was never anything ‘ grand’ about Clark, she was always a jumped-up bossy boots. Playing the tyrant is an effective survival technique for old ladies, and they get worse and worser in time. Run boys, run.

    Hawkesby is just another small-pond girl trying to look sophisticated, and failing. I blame John Key for this. If ever anybody subverted time-honoured values, I reckon he was the slippery bastard who did it best – but all three are cringingly gauche. Dido’s lament anybody ?

      • ‘Dido’s Lament’ as sung by the wonderful late Jessye Norman- a beautiful woman singing a more transcendent version of ‘Please Don’t Talk About Me when I’m Gone ‘ – but I could have it wrong : I am a bit fractured by the barbarians who breached the gates of the Wellington City Council, hell bent on spoiling lovely Shelly Bay and giving lie to the deluded poet who believed that a thing of beauty is a joy forever.

        But if you thought I meant ‘dildo’, that too.

  3. I’ve always thought that there is something weird going on with Hawksbury’s eyes. They’re those of a deranged pixie practising her mesmerising act on you.

  4. Imagine you are standing about 100 meters away from yourself, at the time when you are being honoured for something magnificent, or in the full flow of a speech that will go down as a historically significant oratory…. Look at Kate… What’s that look?

  5. Clarke may have been right on a few scant issues like light bulbs but she still is and was the ‘steady as she goes’ neo liberal / Blairite. No time for her. At all. Zilch. Hideous.

    As for Hawkesby,.. Loser. Just a loser trying to make a noise to get attention. Best ignore her less than pseudo intellectual rants else you’ll end up being just like her.

  6. Helen Clark and Eden Park: Clark is a resident and takes an active interest in what affects her in her community. That is excellent, it’s what everyone should do.

    Thousands up and down the country do the same but their views get no media attention at all. She is noted as an ex-PM but she is just a member of the public. Clark knows she will get focus and uses it. That how’s the world works. The media know they are on to a good thing for filling their spaces and getting attention so they use her. That how the world works.

    Hawkesby: Hawkesby is just part of the media machine. She works in a business which often displays shit standards. She accepts and participates in that and generates the crap approaches herself. Clark could be an anonymous grumpy old suburban tart but for media people like Hawkesby giving her prominence.

    Hawkesby 2: Her job is to fill in a space between advertisements by creating listener interest and keeping those listeners to deliver to her husband so he can bring more of the same but on steroids. Between them, sorting out their ‘pet bitch’ and the strands of negativity for the day and who they can attack, they are a really fun couple.

  7. Poor Kate, not only all the frustrations living with ‘one minute Mike’, but now post election, the irrelevancy of the National club.

  8. “Where would we be as a country without Kate Hawkesby saying really really really ill thought out clickbait ZB Troll shit?”. In a much better place, emotionally, mentally, and intellectually….

  9. Unfortunately for the likes of Hosking, Hawkesby, Roughhan, Garner, Richardson and so many others they all deem themselves as knowing everything and having an answer for everything.

    They echo what they are told by their National Party masters who also think they know everything and also have an answer for everything.

    I don’t bother reading the stupid articles in the tabloid NZ herald when written by the aforementioned lot and the additional ones whose names escape me right now.

    Katie Hawkesby is just a stupid and useless so-called journalist. She is a Mouthpiece of the NZ National Party.

  10. Hawkesby’s shallow flailing comes off like a badly-written fifth form speech cobbled together by the class ‘mean girl’. When your feeble efforts are basically variations on “those clothes are ugly”, “Megan Markle gives me bad vibes”, and “Helen Clark is bossy and annoying”, it might be time to contemplate the questionable life choices that led you to this occupational cul-de-sac. Surely, there must come a point when you realise you’re just embarrassing yourself.


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