Level 3 Extension – Winners & Losers 


Jacinda has made the call to extend the level 3 until Sunday.

Predictably there are winners and losers.


The Heavy Metal and Rare Earth mineral industries: The heavy metals and rare earth minerals required for Crusher Collins’ crocodile tears have caused many deaths and worker injuries. The new caring Crusher still curdles spilled milk and causes pets to miscarry, but the resource and energy required to get her to look compassionate have jumpstarted the economy.


Liam Hehir’s paramilitary wardrobe: The least effective right wing voice in NZ is the boyish Liam Hehir. His contribution on any panel discussion makes as much impact as a fart in a sewer, but his latest wardrobe style of paramilitary black turtle necks is a hot look for anyone living in the 1970s or modern day Manawatu. Expect to see Liam’s wardrobe a lot more now the Business community are outraged they can’t make money because of the virus. In fact just Liam’s empty turtle neck might make more impact than if he turns up wearing it.


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Matthew Hooton’s purse, Ben Thomas: While Hooton is still too tainted and radioactive for everyone else (other than the NZ Herald) to return him to a commentary position after his whole using his platform to run Todd Muller’s coup thing, Hooton’s purse Ben Thomas will get extra commentary time that isn’t dependent on The Spinoff’s Dreary Political Podcast. Ben can slowly smile, note ‘it’s not a good look’ whenever National self mutilates and demand the slaves get back to work in the field during a pandemic with dulcet tones that don’t spook the horses. Think of Ben as right wing anaesthesia.



The Hosking-Soper-Hawkesby-HDPA ZB Troll Farm: The poor buggers had to write two responses to the decision Jacinda made. If she came out of level 3 they would attack her for putting the the entire nation at risk of the plague and if she extended they had to scream she was destroying the entire economy. It’s been a very challenging time for Mike.


Polly Gillespie’s Right Wing Lover: When Polly Gillespie’s Right Wing Lover isn’t satisfying her extensive range of appetites in a 50 Shades of Wellington style sexual psycho  drama, he’s plotting the downfall of the team of 5 Million. Thankfully for Labour, he has very little strength left after the energetic love making and due to dehydration and muscle cramps isn’t able to physically vote in the next election.


Wellington Twitteratti responding to Michael Morrah: Most of the Wellington Twitteratti are either employed by a Union or a Government agency so any criticism of their precious Bureaucrats provokes the kind of territorial pissing matches reserved for Grizzly Bears during Salmon catching season right after a fierce session of love making. This is the same Ministry of Health who fucked up the Measles epidemic last year, but any criticism of Saint Ash is criticism of the micro aggression policing Wellington Twitteratti so Michael Morrah transforms from investigative journalist who exposes environmental vandalism by our fishing industry into a shrill right wing hater who lies about Saint Ash. Can the woke please go back to sleep?


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  1. You have to wonder, not that hard to teach people to drive a harvester in NZ…. and up skill our youth or pay enough to keep experienced workers in the industry…

    Millions of tonnes of food at risk without foreign contractors, farmers say

    Of course, if you are expected to work 60 hours per week, 6 days a week, on $20p/h and live in a dorm then it seems NZ employers are still stuck in 19th century workhouse mentality. Great when the taxpayers also pay the quarantine costs for you, pay for the health care and education of all the dependants coming in with the ‘worker’ and then benefits after 2 years in NZ. Sort of going wrong, like in this case an 18 yo coming in with a ‘worker’ then becomes a NZ permanent resident and goes on and starts offending within a few years. https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/300087554/child-groomer-who-went-to-meet-10yearold-girl-avoids-deportation

    Loads of options for people to be relocated out of Auckland and NZ cities by some enterprising person setting up a contracting business that supplies and trains workers for these roles… likewise job sharing in rural towns and WINZ helping Kiwis train and relocate to do this work!!!

    The government also need to look at why Worksafe goes overboard on small companies with massive fines out of proportion to a small business that doesn’t do the paper work right, while big foreign business killing people don’t get prosecuted in NZ …. Farming is a high risk, but necessary industry for food in NZ, and using foreign workers with English as a second language, does not make it any safer.

    • Worksafe goes overboard on small companies because they are easy targets but they are weak when it comes to the big corporations who have lot so money.

  2. Stay at home, save Michael Baker’s career

    Can anyone explain to me why the fuck I have to provide my private details to a checkout operator at my local supermarket before I can access food? Is this Jacinda Ardern’s new normal, the DIY police state where your every move is recorded on the premise of trying to contain the uncontainable, the common cold? This hoax of an emergency where noone gets sick let alone dies, people slowly become prisoners of the state and lunatics lobby the government with massive hardons to implement mandatory mask wearing 6 MONTHS after this mild virus has passed through the community. This government needs help not accolades.

    • Well fuck me , a covid-19 Donald Trump ,alternative facts, expert…” where noone gets sick let alone dies”!
      Where did the nearly 1million whom have died gone,your imaginary friends house?

      • Well fuck me another fucking utopian unicorn rider.
        Birth rate to date this year approximately 95 million, death rate approximately 35 million.
        Are these people all at your house Bert, getting counselling?
        Guess we are running short of humans on this planet.
        According to the disciples of the Church of Covid, no ones dies in their alternative reality.

          • Dont remember mentioning anything about those approximate yearly figures to date this year, purely pertaining to the West.

            • Dude, you’re just simple & scared as fuck and you make alts give yourself “support” because your idiotic claims wouldn’t get supported by anyone with half a brain.

    • You feign obedience to these deputised goons Ethan because this is the new normal, a bizarre social pantomime where hypochondriacs with a hatred of others and love of power have finally taken over civil society. A place where government officials flap their hands about in masked interpretive dance and encourage communities to do one thing while they do the other. This is now a safe space for police to waste resources and crack innocent heads on behalf of the health ministry, rather than cracking crime rings, drug pushers, corporate thieves, wife beaters and mass murderers. Ethan you now live in a society where you don’t seek health advice and remedies from a trusted health professional, you get punched in the face with it, unsubstantiated health information dressed up as ‘mandated’ medical declarations and force fed as propaganda using proven torture techniques. Your private medical records are now in the hands of some shelf stacker or security guard capo who has been in the country for 5 minutes. Doctors do this because they love you.

  3. Being a humanitarian – as long as I’m paid, suggests that really, I am a capitalist swine (and that I’ll concede).
    In the case of Jacinda’s extension of level 3, however, I reckon :Good Call.

    However, in my view, the menu in Cabinet now MUST include:
    “How do we work with this thing?”

    – because it aint gonna go away soon and, (as I blogged here long time back now), The economic pain will be greater than the medical pain.

  4. Worksafe goes overboard on small companies because they are easy targets but they are weak when it comes to the big corporations who have lot so money they literally get away with murder.

    • I’ll simplify even more.

      Winners : Public sector
      Losers : Private Sector

      But that has been the case the entire time

  5. The nzd$50 billion pool of superannuation money soon to be nzd$80 billion and beyond is future consumption so don’t be scared and don’t bet against New Zealand. Got That? Don’t bet against New Zealand because we will roll your pansy ass.

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