The election has been delayed until October 17th, there are of course in such political machinations as unprecedented as this, a plethora of political winners and losers.
Here is a but a selection.
Jacinda – What a class act, magnanimously puts off election, acts decisively to give certainty and makes decision in the interests of the nation over her political party.
Look, if this country seriously doesn’t overwhelmingly return her with a majority, what the fuck does one need to do to get a second term out of you people? Was it really just Key giving you 10% year on year untaxed capital gains from your property portfolios?
The latest outbreak doesn’t look like it’s slipped past the border quarantine process (despite a myriad of holes being exposed over the last week), and if the contact tracing system really has worked as well as it looks like it has, then only the resurrected Christ or Billy TK with a video showing Jacinda and Grant making the virus in their basement is going to derail the best Labour Party election result since October 1917.
That said, if the plague spirals out of control and engulfs Auckland, Labour could be Trump in California level trouble.
Gerry Brownlee – With the election date moved, Gerry Brownlee’s Conspiracy Theory Youtube channel will explode with ‘questions’. Isn’t it suspicious the Lotto Machine didn’t work the week before Jacinda announced this? Has anyone ever seen Clarke Gayford in the same room as the Lotto Machine? When will Jacinda’s jackbooted socialist police state rig the Lotto draw using 5G technology? GERRY IS JUST ASKING QUESTIONS DAMMIT!
Matthew Hooton’s return to the NZ Herald – With the election date extended, the NZ Herald will manage to keep the editorial decision to re-hire Hooton (after he used his platform to inspire a coup against Simon Bridges) from being questioned by the rest of the news room who are in shock that he’s been allowed back in without even the pretence of shame for having him in the first place. Hoots has gained 4 more pay cheques until the election result makes the Herald appreciate they’ve misread their own readership and sack him.
Chloe’s chances in Auckland Central – Labour’s Auckland Central campaign to date has been to have their candidate and poster child for Ok Karen’s Anonymous, Helen White, coast her way in on the coat tails of Jacinda to win the electorate but with an extension that means more Auckland Central voters get to see Chloe and realise there’s only one Chloe and a thousand Ok Karens.
NZPP QAnon conspiracy circus – Jacinda’s secret socialist police are already mind jamming the sheeple with 5G, fluoridated water and chem trail 1080 drops so that a socialist secret state can twink over any mention of Tino rangatiratanga in the Treaty and make the Queen own every grain of sand on every NZ beach while sacrificing the second child of every family to the UN.
It must be true because i read it on a Facebook page!
Every Public Broadcaster in NZ – Since Kim Hill reminded everyone what they are supposed to be doing with her crucification of Judith Collins last week, every public broadcaster thinks they are left wing Mike Hosking! Expect Matty McLean to interrupt his weather report on TVNZ Breakfast to castigate David Seymour for the impact of a flat tax on beneficiaries.
Judith Collins – She says she needs more media oxygen or the election won’t be fair which is funny because the more voters see of Judith, the lower National’s polling drops as voters recoil in horror at the naked malice of her actions. If voters don’t see Judith for the next 8 weeks, National might get 30%, if voters see lots of Judith, National will be lucky to get 25%.
NZ First’s Unicorn farm – How much are those Brexit bad boys costing them? Does NZ First have enough cash to keep the Green Party Union Farm going?
ACT & Green campaign funds – They barely have enough to pay for a 6 week campaign, let alone a 10 week one. David will be twerking for his supper soon and the Greens will be shooting their Unicorn and selling the horn on the black market to keep Chloe in billboards.
Jami-Lee Ross’s reputation – When the election was on September 19th, it meant that Jami-Lee Ross only had to drag the tattered shit ends of his reputation through 33 more humiliating days, but with the election pushed out till October 17th, that’s 61 days he has to continue pulling the bleeding remnants of personal dignity over the shards of intellectual shame he must feel every second of his waking existence knowing he’s empowered a conspiracy theorist who thinks the Virus is a bioengineered weapon spread by 5G to bring about a shadowy one world Government.
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer chap.
ZB, NZ Herald, Magic Talk, TV3, Prime – The majority of the large mainstream media platforms in NZ don’t have any openly left wing broadcasters at a time when the electorate is about to elect a majority Labour Government. At some stage, the simple market dynamics are going to demand they hire some or get left behind by their own audiences.
Ultimately Jacinda has chosen a course of action that blunts Judith’s attempt to spike the September 19th result by claiming the election was rigged and poison the legitimacy of a second term Labour Government while putting NZs interests above her own Party.
The only thing the Right have gained here is more rope to hang themselves with.
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