Why on earth do Journalists need to interview Judith Collins Eyebrows to ensure she isn’t lying?

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What on earth is she doing?

Election 2020: Judith Collins: My eyebrows will tell you when I’m joking

National leader Judith Collins has clashed with reporters on her way into today’s caucus meeting, calling questions “stupid” – and explaining how to tell when she’s joking.

In a testy discussion with reporters this morning she explained that her comment yesterday that no one had escaped while she was Corrections Minister was merely a joke.

This was in reference to the fact a number of people have escaped isolation facilities in the past few weeks.

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When put to her that people had, in fact, escaped under her tenure – Collins said she was, in fact, joking when she made the comments.

When pressed, Collins pushed back and said questions regarding how voters would be able to trust her – given the fact she did not say at the time the comments were in jest – was “silly stuff”.

But she did provide some respite as to how reporters – and voters alike – might know when she was joking from now on.

“When my eyebrows go up, it’s a joke,” she said, before quipping “do you not understand a joke,” soon after.

What on earth is she doing?

She’s not a bloody comedian, she’s the Leader of the Opposition, we want to know when she says something it’s true, not ‘I’m joking’.

She boosted at an Election rally as part of her Crusher shtick that no one escaped prison when she was Corrections Minister but the truth is 24 people escaped from prison while she was Corrections Minister, making her Crusher claim bullshit and now she’s been called on it, she’s blaming that she was ‘joking’.

This isn’t open mic at the Chuckle Shack Comedy Bar, she’s in a job interview for the most powerful position in the country.

Boosting she is the Crusher who never allows anyone to escape, and then getting busted lying about that claim is bad enough, pretending to be joking to gloss over her obnoxious gloating manages to be worse.

She is a train wreck of candidate, National will be lucky to have 25% at this rate.

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24 COMMENTS

  1. This is a good example of her career, all talk but when you look at the facts they don’t back it up, e.g. “Crusher” Collins who crushed barely any cars. I’ve always thought that leadership would expose her various failings as a politician, and we can see that is happening now. Like all the recent National leaders the media think for a week they are the bees knees, but then some pressure comes on and they crumble. Tova has really turned her eye on Collins as shown by the way she was relentlessly questioning her on this, Collins kept trying to deflect but Tova wasn’t having her get away with her one-liners.

  2. Transport policy..ho ho, leadership…ho ho, trustworthiness…ho ho, Covid 19 plan…ho ho, No utu…ho ho, Economic masterminds, ho ho, no one escaped, ho ho, ‘closer to 40%’….ho ho ho. Please stop, I can’t breath with the laughing. Amateur stand up comedy night at the Fringe Bar from Judith. How long before she loses her temper. Press corps taking bets? Future headline ‘Judith tells Tova to fuck off?’

    • ‘Judith tells Tova to fuck off?’

      She’s already been trying out her Death Stare on Tove. It works on some of them, the more timid ones back right off. But it hasn’t fazed Tova yet.

      • The stare, the eyebrows, will both raise questions and alarms with Tovas.
        The stare, the eyebrows, the gobshite, aggression and prevarication, will raise questions with Votas.

        The latent born-to-rule aggression, non-transparently covered by a veil of blustering bullshit, that I’ve recently seen from Judith Collins, Nick Smith and Gerry Brownlee when asked simple questions by media and journos, endears the National Party to no-one.

        The “don’t you know who I am?” born-to-rulers, cannot cope with being questioned, or challenged. Aaron Gilmore, was the public face, or the private expectation of blind allegiance and forelock-tugging, cow-towing deference to National politicians.

        Her eyebrows are neither a Jedi Mind Trick, nor a Jabba the Hutt Trick, they are a Judith trick when caught out telling porkies, or mis-spokes.

        Just be straight with the truth, or don’t you think voters can handle the truth?
        You can’t have your eyebrow trick Judith, it’s a ruse.

        Here’s a few simple questions Judith
        Superannuation? Raise the age to 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 or more, or not?
        Kiwisaver? -2%, -1.%, 0%, 1%, 2%, 3% or back to 4% (the Govt contribution before John Key and your Govt slashed it last time National was elected)?
        Will you blame Covid for cutting the Govt contribution to Kiwisaver? Yes or no?
        Capital Gains Tax? Yes? No?
        Raise taxes? For the rich? For everyone? Yes? No?
        Lower tax rates? For the rich? For everyone? Yes? No?
        Raise GST? 17.5%? 20% More?
        Slash government spending? Yes? No?
        Bash beneficiaries? Yes? No?
        Open up the borders to international students? Yes? No?
        Open up the borders to temporary visa workers? Yes? No?
        Open up the borders to farm visa workers? Yes? No?
        Open up the borders to everyone? Yes? No?
        Open up the borders to everyone including returning Kiwis? Yes? No?
        Open up the borders to everyone and charge them for quarantine? Yes? No?
        Open up the borders to returning Kiwis and charge them for quarantine?? Yes? No?

        Voters don’t give a rat’s arse about how funny you all are in the National Party? IMHO, you are the least funny group of people on God’s earth.

        Personally, I’ve never found the National brand of a party the least bit funny. It seems bereft of any social, moral or ethical compass and you and your party’s “Iwi or Kiwi” advertising shows just how sub-par your racial diversity values are too.

        If Kiwis had wanted a political joke, we could just vote for Maserati Mike Hosking, Puerile Paul Henry, Dastardly Duncan Garner, Rigour Richardson, or Kavorkian Seymour.

        Keep your eyebrows as still as you can Judith – we don’t need jokes, or mobile eyebrows.

        How can you tell if a Natz politician is lying? When their lips are moving.
        How can you tell if a Natz politician is joking? When their eyebrows are moving.
        How can you tell if a Natz politician is avoiding a direct question? When their lips are moving and their eyebrows are moving and they still can’t answer a direct and simple question.
        How can you tell if a Natz politician is avoiding any question? When their lips are moving and their eyebrows are moving and they prevaricate and start getting Bolshie and aggressively rude to the question asker for <b.daring to ask a question of the elite, born-to-rule Kiwi-tories.

        I prefer these eyebrows Judith, they are absolutely unaffected by National Party bullshit……

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0uWBog2Oi8

        • LMFAO Dianne.

          So either:
          1) Every reporter has a follow up question to Judith “Did your eyebrows go up?”
          I reckon she wouldn’t last one press conference.
          2) She tippex her eyebrows off.
          Downside is she can’t have a joke.

          Decisions decisions Judith…

    • How long before she loses her temper.

      It was there in tonight’s news, Channel 3. She spat out her words: “I wouldn’t tell you!!” – Loudly, in a tone of contempt, scorn and malice towards Tova. It was like she was hissing.

      Who actually talks like that? She really is starting to lose the plot.

      • Kheala,

        Look at this from Collins position.

        1) She has a well-earned reputation for bullying, entitled arrogance and dirty politics.

        2) She’s waited decades to become the National Party leader.

        3) She knows she will only get one shot at it. If she fails to win the election, the keys will be gifted to Luxon the day after the election.

        4) With considerable assistance from our vested interest media, she’s been able to control the narrative with an affable appearance and lots of smiles. It’s like watching an infomercial for an enormous exercise machine that dominates the room but apparently fits neatly under every bed according to Chucky.

        5) National had virtually conceded the election so Collins felt she had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Her promotion was about saving as many National Party MP’s careers as possible and giving Ardern more of a fight than Bridges and Muller.

        So where has it gone wrong for Collins?

        1) Instead of acknowledging the true state of the National Party and presenting herself as the underdog, Collins comes out arrogantly bullshitting how strong and magnificent her party is and how they will win the September election. Ardern on the other hand tells everyone she is taking nothing for granted. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to work out which approach Kiwis will gravitate toward.

        2) C

      • Kheala,

        Look at this from Collins position.

        1) She has a well-earned reputation for bullying, entitled arrogance and dirty politics.

        2) She’s waited decades to become the National Party leader.

        3) She knows she will only get one shot at it. If she fails to win the election, the keys will be gifted to Luxon the day after the election.

        4) With considerable assistance from our vested interest media, she’s been able to control the narrative with an affable appearance and lots of smiles. It’s like watching an infomercial for an enormous exercise machine that dominates the room but apparently fits neatly under every bed according to Chucky.

        5) National had virtually conceded the election so Collins felt she had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Her promotion was about saving as many National Party MP’s careers as possible and giving Ardern more of a fight than Bridges and Muller.

        So where has it gone wrong for Collins?

        1) Instead of acknowledging the true state of the National Party and presenting herself as the underdog, Collins comes out arrogantly bullshitting how strong and magnificent her party is and how they will win the September election. Ardern on the other hand tells everyone she is taking nothing for granted. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to work out which approach Kiwis will gravitate toward.

        2) Collins was in a luxurious position of having nothing to lose and no real pressure. Now, she’s told everyone she will win and has raised expectations of other latrine rodents and painted herself into a corner. All that was required for desperate Chucky to arrive on stage is a huge reality check with another disastrous poll. The moment that happens, the facade and the infomercial would be over. That moment has arrived.

        3) Collins is now no longer a no go zone for journalists. They, like the rest of us, don’t appreciate being spoken down to and or bullied. Collins has put a big target on herself. That snowball is now rolling and growing.

        4) Pressure will be mounting from other National Party MP’s that know their careers are about to end despite the delusional sales pitch from Chucky.

        5) Collins is confronted by the nightmare reality that her dream she waited so long for is almost over. Desperation will inevitably follow and we all know what that means. Dirty Politics.

        So what will Collins do now? That will depend entirely on the Comar Brunton poll result. If it is as bad as the “rogue” poll, she will go all attack mode and then change to mode 2. If the C.B poll gives her encouragement, there will be no switching to mode 2. It will be attack attack attack until election day.

        What is mode 2..? It’s where Chucky recognizes mode 1 has totally failed and must be hidden away urgently. She will attempt to play the disadvantaged victim seeking sympathy votes. She will become everyone’s friend including journalists. Smiling and affable, happy to oblige. The soft unreal Chucky. It will be a total charade that wouldn’t stand up to scrutiny but will pass with at least some until brutally exposed again.

        Buckle in. It will be a ride whatever mode she’s in.

  3. ” This isn’t open mic at the Chuckle Shack Comedy Bar, she’s in a job interview for the most powerful position in the country ”
    It is just good old fashioned arrogance. They have got away with the bullshit and the yeah nah answers and treating the seriousness of governing the country as a joke. Just look at the shysters performance for 8 years and the MSM who actively encouraged him. Kiwis didn’t care that their leader was a buffoon and regularly bought disrespect to the office of Prime minister. If you were lucky enough to become a property millionaire overnight you would excuse anything to keep it that way including destroying peoples reputations and keeping an enemy’s list ready to use at a moments notice.
    Now the narrative has changed and an astute electorate has woken up and don’t like what they see.

  4. I reckon unless “Crusher” Collins can deliver a big hit this week, eg a crushing blow to the Govt -the polls will be self fulfilling
    Its crunch time –this week –make or break.
    If there is a National Black Ops team –ill say it again –“they are amateurs ” .

  5. Dear oh dear, she is now starting to come across as slightly unhinged. And definitely emphasising a born to rule arrogance too. What’s with the, you will respect my presence gig, Judith?

    Picture a personality such as this wielding the power of a PM.

    • Yep, but her eyebrows are permanently raised, does that mean she is continually joking or lying?
      Boag and Collins have painted on raised eyebrows for the purpose to dominate and behave as authoritarians.
      They come across more as dominatrix. I’d comment on her policies but I’ve had my fill of roads so therefore I’ll comment on her personality.

      • bert – Boag’s eyebrows are painted on, but I think Collins are the real thing – just like Jack Nicholson’s.

        The Boag brows can be quite hard and time consuming to do; some of our lovely young checkout operators’ similar eyebrows are wonderful – literally awesome, and they are rightfully proud of them. I have virtually no eyebrows at all, which may be why I have spent so much of my life totally speechless.

        There’s someone else in Parliament with well drawn-on brows and sometimes a flower behind her ear, but I can’t remember her name, nor noted their mobility, but I won’t watch Parliament at all if this is the type of scrutiny required for just les femmes.

        How are we meant to know when a bloke’s serious ? I dread to think.

  6. I disagree Martyn. Collins is a comedian. Everything she’s spouted off thus far has been a joke.

    What would make this week even better and funnier would be tomorrow nights Colmar Brunton poll results on TVNZ. My math and logic say Thursday night is the night. Polls don’t get released on Friday nights and if it was happening tonight, we would have got the nod.

    If you want to see some magnificent comedy, just watch the Latrine Rodents if the C.B poll is similar or even worse than the recent “rogue” poll. Will be a cross between watching Collins and Brownstain eating rats and them having a mix of egg and poo splattered all over their faces. Now that’s comedy gold. Will be very sad of course 🙂

  7. She (judeath) isn’t starting to ‘lose the plot’ she lost her mojo a long time ago. That is why jhonkey had to reprimand her. When are people going to realise the only lead she should control is her dogs, when walking it.

  8. MEANWHILE, WE HAVE JACINDA WHO PASSED A BILL, during Lockdown
    ALLOWING ABORTION
    of FULL TERM BABIES.

    And BTW CONGRATS to YOU MARTYN ,
    For advocating change in abortion law
    and HELPING TO BRING THIS ABOUT.

    • Ok 1 – claiming Jacinda passed law to allow full term abortions is the most disingenuous bullshit way to describe a law change that was necessary and righteous. Your use of fear is designed to frighten and spook people of conscience into a backlash.

      The law change allows for babies to be aborted past 20 weeks with the agreement of a dr. This is a rare decision for women to ever make, only a handful of pregnancies are terminated at this late stage and it’s almost always because there is a serious medical danger to the mother.

      The way you frame this is dishonest and deceitful. You need to examine your conscience on this Cassie because you are bringing a stain to your honour here.

      As for thanking me to bring that change about, why thank you. That is so sweet, I worked so hard to support this law change and am really, really, really happy that woman have more power and agency in their hands.

      Happy days.

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