MEDIAWATCH: Script of Michael Woodhouse’s lies and smears


TOVA: Mr Woodhouse, did you order the a homeless man in a free hotel Covid smear?!

WOODHOUSE: I’ll answer the question. You want answers?

TOVA: I think I’m entitled!

WOODHOUSE: You want answers?!

TOVA: I want the truth!

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WOODHOUSE: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Tova O’Brien? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for a homeless man in a 5 star hotel and you curse the Nats. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that homeless person in a hotel lie, while tragic, probably saved votes. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gets votes! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like “honor”, “code”, “loyalty”. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a journalist who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said “thank you”, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

TOVA: Did you order the homeless man in a free hotel Covid smear?

WOODHOUSE: I did the job that—-

TOVA: Did you order the homeless man in a free hotel Covid smear??!!




  1. Under the previous National government lots of homeless people got to stay at hotels. I thought that was their housing policy?

  2. Muller to vile group of latrine rodents, Woodhouse, Collins,Brownlee, Goldsmith,Kaye and Adams……and Hoskings

    “We are fucked and can’t possibly win the election in September when 93% of the sycophantic ignoramuses out there think the horse face knitting part time PM did a great job of leading them through the pandemic”

    Vile group of latrine rodents back to head rodent Muller. “How can we get that 93% approval rating down?”

    Muller. “We use every dirty disgusting smearing, misrepresenting and undermining trick in our sack of festering turds to bring that 93% number down”

    Vile group of latrine rodents back to head rodent Muller. “so no positive and inclusive policies to try and win back voters?”

    Muller. “Fuck that. We use all our inside sources to set Ardern up for a fall. They owe us so remind them of that and tell them there will be more rewards to come if they do what we ask of them. They must also give us a steady stream of negative bleating reports back from quarantine etc etc so make the calls”

    Vile group of latrine rodents back to head rodent Muller. “Can we make shit up?”

    Muller. Of course. If they can’t prove it’s total bullshit, it’s all good. Look at the damage we caused by saying Ardern covered up sexual abuse FFS despite knowing she knew fuck all about it. If you get caught out in a lie just deflect and reach for I can’t recall. Remember also what Goldsmith said when Kaye put her foot in her mouth again recently saying he was obviously Maori. Goldsmith just spouted off some complete bullshit about his great great grandfather having several wives and two of those wives were Maori. Nobody could prove it was true or bullshit”

    Vile group of latrine rodents back to head rodent Muller. “should we mention the rock star economy we had over our 9 magnificent years in Government?’

    Muller. Don’t be fucking ridiculous. The people of NZ may be thick as pigshit morons but even they found out the rock star economy was the biggest smoke and mirrors con job we ever got away with. FFS don’t mention it and hopefully they will all forget about it in September”

    Vile group of latrine rodents back to head rodent Muller. “Any damaging words and catch phrases we can use to undermine horse face and convince the morons out there horse face is useless?”

    Muller. “Yes, keep hammering the word incompetent over and over. I’m using the words shambles and shambolic dozens of times every day and our supporters in the media love it and keep repeating it so we are getting traction”

    Vile group of latrine rodents back to head rodent Muller. “we shouldn’t ask but could we handle things as well as horse face has?”

    Muller. No fucking way. We would have given workers nil but wealthy business owners would have got hundreds of millions that they could say will trickle down to the workers even if it was bullshit. We would not even have gone into lockdown and continued flights from China as we owe them”

    Vile group of latrine rodents back to head rodent Muller. “that would have resulted in thousands of deaths in NZ”

    Muller. “Everyone got to die sometime and it wouldn’t have been as bad as my hero Donald fucked up. Business would have ticked over with profits up and that always must be the top priority along with us being back in Government where we belong”

    93% …89% ….86%….77%…71%…66%….62%……

  3. I found Pulla a benefits comments this morning saying Labour aren’t managing NZ First to be a joke. When we look at what happened to the parties they managed when they were in power, two are now gone.

    • Michelle – Did Paula really say that ? It’s not Labour’s job to manage NZ First, it’s NZ First’s job to manage NZ First, and Paula B should know that… just a poor choice of words on Bennett’s part maybe – or did she have a brain by-pass too ?

    • Michelle,

      Pullya is desperately trying to change her image at the moment. Said this morning Labour was cowering to Peters and how the Greens deserve better. What a joke. About as farcical as National pretending they give a shit about anyone doing it hard in NZ. Just as disturbing was Benefit showing a bit of cleavage. Obviously attempting to appear as a more feminine version of her vile self.

    • I hadn’t heard this however this gives absolute justification to my comment that National dont get MMP and have no regard for MMP. A coalition is not about one party managing or controlling other parties. That’s Nationals view and why their 9 years in government was not a true coalition.
      The fact this government coalition can have difference of opinions shows how MMP works.If Bennett and National want total control can I suggest a move to North Korea.

  4. Michelle – PS. Yes, I’ve found Paula’s “manage comment” and you’re right – it looks as if it was Bennett trying to cosy up to the Greens – a bit contrived and clumsy.

    The funniest part was Bennett saying, “They’ve been slightly scared of him, you know. He is unpredictable at best.” Scared of Winston Peters ? That’s probably transference, because Bennett knows that Peters knows exactly the sort of person that Bennett is – and just being a bit of a b. Cheers.

  5. Maybe after the election they can make Woodhouse the Justice Minister. He can set about changing the rules.

    “Some said something about you. Some one reliable. Prove it’s not true.” ….

    “By the way, I don’t want you using resources or any officials or agencies seeking to prove that the claims are wrong.”

    That’s how it’s worked in this latest episode.

  6. Dead cat strategy. Comes. About every election. 2014 dong Liu bottle of wine anyone?2017 11 Billion dollar Fiscal hole? Now homeless man in 5 star hotel…….fuck can’t the Nats find a real job

  7. I would say 85% of homeless people I know are more worthy of a 5 star hotel than this shameless schmuck.

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