Nothing screams Incel loneliness quite like believing a race of 8ft tall white people lived in NZ before Māori.

Magical white giants fighting wood elves in New Zealand in 500BC



I, just don’t know what is to be said here…

Secretive group calls off dig for giant skeletons near Huntly

A secretive group who spent four years tunnelling into the side of a country road in search of a mythical race of pre-Polynesian giants’ skeletons have called off their dig.

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…how much of a fucking moron must you be to go beyond just sitting behind your computer and believing crazy batshit conspiracies like fluoridation in water causes mental retardation, anti-Vaxx nonsense, climate denial or chemtrails are secretly controlling the masses to actually organising a cave dig with amateur ‘archeologists’ to discover a secret race of white giants???

At no point did any of them ask, ‘what the fuck are we doing guys”?

Surely Occams razor applies to most peoples lived experience right? What ever is the most likely event probably happened.

So what is most likely here?

You’ve either

(A) Discovered a Moa bone?


(B) Found the leg of an 8 ft tall white giant that predates Polynesian arrival in NZ by 2000 years?

I mean really?

Don’t worry though, one of the ‘archaeologists’ has ensured this incredible find will be safe because he’s put a magical spell on the dig site to stop anyone stealing any of his precious giant bones.

A magical spell folks…

Today, Rodney Davidson, a reiki practitioner from Northland, confirmed he was involved in the dig.

He posted a warning on Facebook: “Be aware that a Reiki protection is on the cave dig and has been since the start too. It has made it,s [sic] presence felt on at least two occasions to great benefit in fact. Abuse it in anyway and there will be a ‘ result ‘ ! I have no control over this so all your choice!”

…A magical fucking spell.

This is a terrifying indictment on public education in this country.

Thoughts & prayers for these amateur fuckwits please folks. Thoughts and prayers.



  1. Lol
    We probably don’t need to know what every insane person in the country is up to, or what bodily secretion they use to paint their walls at home, but thanks MSM.

  2. Who are your prayers going to? As a regular reader you have had no time for God in previous columns so it is somewhat surprising you suggest we should pray for these misguided individuals.

    • Even if you don’t believe in God, acting as if there is a God brings comfort to a great many people.

      We don’t have to believe in the supernatural elements or the afterlife, so extrapolating these beliefs as if it applies to everyone is not necessary.

      Given pacific island DNA and European DNA equalise depending if the person is in Europe or the pacific producing different coloured skin I’d rather just pray for these misguided soles.

  3. These sort of people some into the shop quite often, if you actually talk to them for a while it becomes apparent that they are either the victims of childhood abuse, and or have disturbed personalities…you could say Mental Health issues. Its not about their education. I try and be as kindly as i can, to their faces atleast. i must confess, I always walk out the back afterwards and roll my eyes.

  4. This is an awesum discovery! Another “White Supremacist Cult” for the SIS to monitor!
    Archeological Terrorists!

  5. I can’t see any mention of the giants being white. Is this the core complaint? On the surface it sounds harmless if a bit silly.

  6. Since you bought the bible into it by praying for the diggers. Remember the Nephilim, Giants that roamed the Earth. But I will let you read Genesis and Ezekiel for yourself. As for New zealand, well only one question, why is everyone one so disturbed and intent on blocking searchers, including Maori. Nothing to hide, so no worries, right?

    • They’re free to dig up their own land and if they had done that no one would have complained, unless they knowingly interfered with an archaeological site. However, they were digging on someone else’s land and lying about having permission to do that.

  7. Rodney’s a reiki practitioner… and that just about says everything you need to know about this hilarious carousel of unhinged delusion. Reiki is a ridiculous pseudoscience. You can buy a certificate on the internet. I could be a ‘reiki practitioner’ tomorrow if I felt like flushing $100 down the bog. Rodney’s ‘reiki protection’ is about as effective as Sooty chanting “Izzy wizzy, let’s get busy!”

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