The Woke review of Avengers: Endgame 5 stars (warning – spoilers)

By   /   May 1, 2019  /   8 Comments

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After eliminating climate change and over population issues, radical environmentalist, solo dad and Mens Rights Activist, Thanos, has retired to a life style block to grow sustainable vegan crops.

 

The Woke review of Avengers: Endgame 5 stars (warning – spoilers)

Gender rights activist Captain Marvel saves Military Industrial Complex philanthropist Tony Stark and domestic abuse survivor Nebula from space and returns them to earth to reunite with the other woke warriors who survived the previous movie.

After eliminating climate change and over population issues, radical environmentalist, solo dad and Mens Rights Activist, Thanos, has retired to a life style block to grow sustainable vegan crops. While he is harvesting, the remaining SJWs arrive and carry out a non-judicial execution when they discover he has destroyed the means for them to use the infinity stones of patriarchy to restore everyone from the organic mulch he turned them into.

5 years later, reformed Nationalist, Steve Rogers, leads a team consisting of Dr David Banner (who has learnt to control his toxic masculine rage), Scott Lang (a micro-micro aggression policer), Thor (a liberal Scandinavian brocialist), Rocket (an animal rights activist and emotional support pet), Hawkeye (a non unionised sole trader archer), Nebula, Stark and fourth wave feminist Natasha Romanoff to travel back in time to steal back the infinity stones of patriarchy to stop Thanos from using them in the first place.

Despite the gender pay gap, Natasha Romanoff sacrifices herself for the emotional management of the group and this sets the scene for a diverse range of collectivist NGOs and progressive allies to join forces to combat Thanos once again.

Black Lives Matter activists in Wakanda join with Tibetan Monk unionists and Asgardian progressives with all the major characters to bring the heteronormative patriarchy of Thanos to an end.

Captain Marvel uses her rage feminism super powers to defeat Thanos and leads an all women inclusive collective to battle an army of 4chan Trolls.

Tony Stark stops mansplaining and sacrifices himself while Steve Rodgers rejects his white cis male privilege in favour of a black Captain America to make America great again.

5 stars
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8 Comments

  1. Sam Sam says:

    So the 3 biggest characters of the marvel movies universe are died or so depressed they may as well be dead. There is no reaching a billion dollars at the box office with out them. Get woke go broke.

    • bert says:

      Which is exactly the way the NZ Herald will end up thank goodness, broke. Now that they are charging for premium content, how can they possibly believe Young, Trevett, Hosking etc etc are premium at anything other than National party adulation. Now that their charging, they may as well be broke. Stories of whether Bennett is a true Maori or the broken record of whether Winston is running the Government clearly shows the country’s National paper and their scribes are crap.

      • Sam Sam says:

        Every media outlet and journalist has its bias and they will talk with that bias. That can’t really be controlled in a free society. I’m a free society if you get the health and education system set up to function efficiently and effectively then all these smaller issues of race or what ever become a side issue to the major achievements of public life.

      • mike says:

        how can anyone charge when google news is now the news room

        • Sam Sam says:

          Because Google dosnt have journalists. Googlez job is just to sell advertising, not produce content.

  2. Aaron says:

    love it!

  3. Corey Humm says:

    Bring back antitrust laws. That was my takeaway from Endgame. Previous generations were right to ban media monopolies because it’d create stupid greedy self involved uniformed consumerists with more loyalty to brands than their neighbors.

    Look at the state of music. Tv. Movies under corporations.

    What does it say about our society that the only films that get the masses out are super hero films? Have we become that brainwashed into believing our powerlessness?

    Also the next one should be avengers: comrades assemble directed by Ken Loach with Margaret Thatcher coming back to life.

  4. DennyPaoa says:

    @Sam. “Get Woke Go Broke!” 🙂 🙂


 
Authorised by Martyn Bradbury, The Editor, TheDailyBlog,