Yes Kate Hawkesby, who else?
Who better to tell us all about why Meghan Markel is not up to the job, or the insufferable difficulty experienced by the impossibly wealthy when finding a suitable multi million dollar rental in Auckland, or even just how Jacinda should fuck off if she wants to.
Kate has all the right qualifications to counsel us all.
Clear vision (lol), the ability to sit in front of a camera but look past it with one eye, decades of hearing about the existence of poor people, and listening to Mike all day every day, all night every night, forever and ever, amen.
The mother of a nation, dragged her nail polish out onto the balcony today and declared Jacinda will abandon us all for greater …more international, lofty things in just a year or so.
It’s written across Kate’s jewellery box…so it must be true.
Afterall Kate would grab a top job like that – if she had the chance, so it followed that whatever Kate would do, Jacinda will also do.
The burning selfish ambition to grab fame and invitations to be a big flash star at the UN seem like a no brainer to the great mother of our nation.
Off Jacinda should go and leave us here…etc…she’s too good for shitty old New Zealand says Kate.
This is not the first time Kate has dreamed this dream.
Last time Kate shooed Jacinda off into obscurity was in the weeks leading up to the birth of Jacinda’s baby Neve.
Kate was worried, sick to the core as all Tory’s are in sympathy for Labour MPs, knowing how tough motherhood is, that poor wee Jacinda should go rest up permanently if she needs to.
How very kind.
The authenticity of these sentiments remind me of battery acid on a spoon.
Kate was the guiding hand, easing Jacinda off the stage so others could do the silly PM job, but only because she cared so deeply about mother and child.
However time told a more resilient and powerful story about what a brilliant, talented and true hearted woman can do, when others say she cannot.
Jacinda not only coped with the stresses of motherhood and being Prime Minister, she also happened to hit the ball out of the park, seams and all, into another stratosphere, like being one of the best Prime Ministers we have seen so far.
Who knew? Did you?
“You go too far G”, said the old crusty crab under a rock, “It’s early days and what have the Romans ever done for us?”
Quite so, but what a terrific start really.
Really, it’s a hell of a good start by all accounts.
They say this PM is quite a young lady – down at the Grey Lynn bowling club, and they never say things like that.
They normally just spit on the ground.
Yes the mother of the nation, projected that Jacinda, would not care about the New Zealand children living in poverty, would not give a shit about our rivers and lakes, would not give a toss about homeless kiwis and would bugger off at the first big job offer.
Oh the fame and fortune of it all.
Which all really just goes to show how Kate does not get what makes Jacinda tick at all.
Unlike Kate – Jacinda is ambitious for others, not herself, it’s in her DNA, you can’t undo it out of her.
Her legacy is to do some good…not be famous.
She’s very good hearted, a gem, so to speak.
But try as you may to explain these pure motives to a craven vacuum inside a hollow shell of a woman, and that hollow shell will look back at you cross eyed, blinking, like you must be mad.
Which all makes perfect sense.
Just like fashion advice from a fabulous nobody.
Gerard Otto is an activist and a writer.