Heather du Plessis Allen cried out in the wilderness for mercy.
No news cycle could span the vast time between a set of recommendations and actual policy decisions.
The storm of outrage whipped up by 20% of our population was beginning to get fucking boring and repetitive.
Heather knew this as the wave had reached its peak and now began to dissipate growing weaker and less newsworthy every day.
“Save us all from the dying wave of hysteria” was the reality behind Heather’s lament as opinion writers now began to cringe at their own words – daring to write just one more article about a topic done to death with nothing new to add.
Yes the enormous expanse of time now worked it’s magic on emotion and started to soften the savage war cries of wounded property speculators.
Liam Dann even apologised for his article.
The plan was working.
Foolish numpties like Business NZ and the Property Investors Federation and NZ Herald opinion writers had rushed in and captured the Trojan horse.
But now they had to haul it across the whole 6 week Sahara before getting it to their destination.
Mercy cried Heather – this was torture.
Hauling this report for four more weeks was too much for any audience to watch.
Meanwhile PM Ardern and Winston looked out across the desert at the caravan of hot and sweaty wealthy pricks putting more effort into moaning than anything productive for New Zealand.
Fire a volley at them chuckled Winston.
PM Ardern nodded and a message was catipulted across the miles of sand.
“Not everyone has a column in the NZ Herald ha ha ha ha and we want to hear from them” read the scroll.
Heather’s eyes narrowed as she read the words….her face wrinkled like a rotting passion fruit under the hot desert sun.
The will to keep dragging the giant wooden report across the desert began to leak out of the hearts of the press and fry like runny eggs as the public swiped past the topic now.
For fucks sake just give us an extended capital gains tax on property and be done with it she said out loud.
A position nearly everyone now heartily agreed with and the result the coalition had always calculated would be accepted by this cunning use of time.
The Coalition were far too smart for the press and now had property speculators right where they always wanted them.
Morons like Hosking and Soper had fallen straight into the trap.
Like lemmings rushing to a cliff they all piled into the position they now find themselves in.
Nobody wants to hear four more weeks of speculation and the middle classes mostly don’t give a shit.
It’s the top 20% most wealthy who are thrashing around pretending they are the middle classes – who are now stuck out in the middle of the desert.
Four more weeks of speculation.
Gerard Otto is an activist and a writer.