Mike Hosking brags about not crashing fast cars. Then crashes fast car. Evidence that God exists.

By   /   April 10, 2018  /   27 Comments

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Thank goodness Mike is ok and thank goodness it happened to Mike.

I know this is not nice.

And we should be nice.

No I mean that.

With a looming economic collapse and environmental armageddon around the corner, manners matter.

And we shouldn’t be gleeful at the mistakes of our enemies.

We should all be bigger human beings, and have far more compassion and empathy for everyone.

Except Mike Hosking.

This was Mike Hosking less than 1 week ago ranting about not being allowed to drive as fast as humanly possible (because he is a master of driving) as another example of the namby-pamby nanny state coddling us with road barriers, cycle helmets and seatbelts…

Yes, they might involve speed, but it’s idiots and speed that’s the combination, not speed by itself. Any experienced, professional operator behind the wheel will tell you speed in isolation is not an issue.

Since joining Hampton Downs and taking my car round a track at 220km/h I have not crashed, will not crash, and have concluded I am vastly less likely to be in trouble on a track than I am on a road. Why? Because there are no idiots. There is respect and concentration and rules are adhered to, and – oh the irony – ever safer cars.

… this is Mike Hosking today…

Mike Hosking crashes $140,000 sports car

Mike Hosking had an expensive day out racing at a Hampton Downs race track yesterday.

His sexy red Alfa Romeo 4C looks to have taken an absolute beating and come out worse for wear.

Hosking’s wife Kate Hawkesby posted about the ordeal on Instagram.

In a series of photos, she explained her hubby’s antics.

“Husband goes to track day with his race car. Crashes it. Anyone know a good panel beater?” she posted a video of the car with serious dents and scratches down one side.

“Luckily he’s ok, the car… not so much.”

The kicker? Mike Hosking has no car insurance when he is track racing!

…I know, I know!

We are bad people for taking so much glee in this terrible accident.

We must ignore the pure irony of him bitching about speed limits while bragging he will never ever, ever crash his car while doing high speeds at a private speed track only to crash his very expensive car at the aforementioned private race track.

Oh and he doesn’t have insurance.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha.

 

This is evidence that God exists.

Thank goodness Mike is ok and thank goodness it happened to Mike.

 

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27 Comments

  1. Lone comet says:

    Hilarious, thanks god for punishing mike

  2. Cemetery Jones says:

    Life comes at you fast …. but not as fast as the crash barrier

  3. mary_a says:

    Makes me wonder if there is a God after all … or Karma starting to rear its head.

    But let’s be kind, poor baby received a nasty bruised thumb from the crash.

    Oh boo hoo, you self righteous prick!

  4. Siobhan says:

    I notice he’s off to ACC to bleat about his thumb…normally I’m not an advocate for ACC bastardry…but I do hope they put him through the wringer…

    • David H says:

      He’s over 40 here’s hoping they’ll tell him it’s degenerative. Just like they do to all of us.

  5. simonm says:

    Apparently he bruised his thumb in the accident, so it’s just as well he does most of his wanking with his mouth.

  6. Jeff Foley Jeff Foley says:

    I love the way you laugh Martyn.
    As for the rabid narcissist, Mike Hosking: I just want him to pack up and fuck-off out of my country – the sooner the better.

    • Whispering Kate says:

      From what I read in the Herald he has also crashed into his garage more than once. It would seem he isn’t such a good driver at all. The man is not a good example of exemplary driving at all – what a fake.

      I think there is a saying somewhere about men who drive big powerful cars – whatever it was it wasn’t very complimentary.

  7. Nitrium Nitrium says:

    It is absolutely not evidence that “God exists”. It is, however, absolutely evidence that Mike Hosking is a self-aggrandising but nonetheless fallible douche.

  8. Wallyjr says:

    Just a Perfect Day

    You’re going to reap just what you sow
    You’re going to reap just what you sow
    You’re going to reap just what you sow
    You’re going to reap just what you sow

  9. Hubert says:

    I think the sign says “Speed Kills” doesnt it? Wonder if Mike belongs to the Flat Earth Society too?

  10. Richard McGrath says:

    Of course his car wasn’t insured while racing – I’m not sure you can get insurance for that situation. Hosking was obviously willing to accept the likelihood of vehicle damage. Shame it was to such a lovely car as an Alfa. I’d say he was unwise at minimum to state that he wasn’t going to crash…

  11. countryboy says:

    Hoskings crashed his car at the race track? I heard he crashed his car running down homeless people?

    ” Thank goodness mike is ok…”
    Really?
    That’s not what I’m fucking thinking.

    • Cemetery Jones says:

      You just made me imagine what it might be like if Mike Hosking converted to Islam.

  12. savenz says:

    Maybe God only exists under a centre left government?

    It is uncharitable, but HAHAHA to Hoskings/ half baked verbal dribble…

  13. Mike the Lefty says:

    Oh yes, the number one excuse “the brakes didn’t work”.
    Probably nothing wrong with the brakes, just something wrong with the jerk that doesn’t like to use them because he thinks only lefties needs brakes.
    I’m waiting for his next rant about hoons in cars, although very likely his own hypocrisy will be lost on him.

  14. OnceWasTim says:

    Any word as to whether his threads, (rose) tinted glasses and ego survived? I’ve seen nothing in the Herald or Stuff on such an important matter and even the shock jocks (oops….ZedBees) seem unwilling to let us know – even his long-suffering woify. It’s a scandal that the MSM hasn’t given us more information about this NZ oikon. I’m getting rilly rilly concerned, because … well even woify doesn’t seem prepared to talk in detail. And here’s me worried and ‘THINKING ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!!’.
    My God! just think of it. Think of the devastation!
    My life is on hold worrying about it.
    I’m thinking that I should probably contact his daddah-in-law to set my mind at ease, because I’ve had the last couple of days worrying myself sick!!!!

  15. OnceWasTim says:

    apparently though @WK, fake is good.
    I’m reminded of a lecture given by a Prof in Philosphy about males and penis extensions.
    Chances are there is a possibility of some just happening to like the feel of the technology and feel of fast cars.
    It’s one of those ‘aspirational’ theories though because I doubt there’d be any possibility of funding research into penis size (or breadth for that matter) and a man (do I mean a ‘real MAN’?)’s desire to drive fast….. and all the rest of what gives him the best thing closer to an orgasm.
    Indeed you have to wonder whether the experience is actually better than the orgasm in some cases.
    Which is WHY I’m so concerned about Moik and Kate (and those poor children) when you think of the UTTER devastation that’s possible if Moik had to have to deal with restoring his lifestyle.
    And @WK – think he might have to deal with the father-in-law.
    It just keeps me awake at night!
    Worse still, as much as I try, I can’t find anywhere on the Herald, or ZB, or ANYWHERE!! where I can see 10 tips to help me sleep after severe loss of a true oikon

  16. Philg says:

    I agree with Mike. It’s not speed, by itself, that causes accidents, it’s incompetent drivers like Mike, and poorly engineered roading systems.

  17. darth smith says:

    its a shame he didn’t paralyze his mouth

  18. Sumsuch says:

    I’m growing in appreciation of Hosking’s endless contradictions of our new establishment — it’s instructive — as I was dismissive of his similarly endless support of the old establishment. Only he can reconcile his support for the strong in heaven. A sin both in NZ and Christianity.

  19. Marc says:

    My toy just broke, ffs, you ‘bastards’.

  20. Priss says:

    I offer thanks to the Goddess Karma. You are my kind of *bitch*!

  21. WILD KATIPO says:

    So the ‘Hosk’ had a crash.

    That makes two things that crashed , one is his vehicle and the other is his career after Key left and National lost.

    He’s looking old these days isn’t he?… he should get those eyes tested if hes prone to crashing cars like that – especially in a controlled environment like a racetrack. Otherwise hes a danger to all of us out on the roads…