5 Candidates For The Seat Of Limerick

By   /   September 8, 2017  /   14 Comments

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The Nats most magnificent troll

Said: “I’ve just found a fiscal black hole

so impossibly big

that Grant cannot dig

Labour out before the next poll!”

1.

The Nats most magnificent troll

Said: “I’ve just found a fiscal black hole

so impossibly big

that Grant cannot dig

Labour out before the next poll!”

 

2.

 

A Year Thirteen wag asked Jacinda

If she’d thought about going on Tinder.

“Not for a while”,

She said with a smile.

“My cell-phone gets burned to a cinder!”

 

3.

 

Winston Peters is down in the dumps.

“Just when things were coming up Trump”,

Wails the wily old fox,

“Labour learns how to box

And Jacinda sets fire to the stump!”

 

4.

 

“Well, this is a fine how’d you do!”

Says James to what’s left of his crew.

“Haven’t I always said,

That it’s green – and not red –

Which will get us all out of the blue?”

 

5.

 

Shouted Gareth, “I smell a rat!

Or, perhaps, what I smell is a Nat?

TOP’s ideas are so great

They won’t let us debate.

Anybody would think we’re a cat!”

 

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14 Comments

  1. Mike the Lefty says:

    Didn’t know you were also a bit of a poet Chris.

  2. Quicksilver says:

    With thanks to Humpty Dumpty….

    Billy-boy English looked at the poll,
    Billy-boy English had a great fall,
    All the Blue Dragons, and all MSM,
    Couldn’t put Billy back on top again!

  3. Grant says:

    There once was a farmer called Bill
    Who was used to pulling the wool
    But when Kiwis forelocks were parted
    They realized that what he had started
    Had the hallmarks of a ‘born to rule’.

  4. Grant says:

    There once was a man called Joyce
    Who was English’s only choice
    Despite failing economics
    He still gave Labour some stick
    But all said he should’ve saved his voice

  5. Sam Sam says:

    My sides are hurting. Thank you

  6. CLEANGREEN says:

    Chris you made me bloody laugh mate!!

    I love this one so much;

    Shouted Gareth, “I smell a rat!

    Or, perhaps, what I smell is a Nat? Ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah.

    “He was a poet but didn’t know it”

  7. WILD KATIPO says:

    Jacinda sat down on her tuffet
    And observed all the National muppets
    Thought Jacinda to self,
    ‘ These muppets are all mouth
    and they all need a good telling off !!!’.

    So Joyce screamed loud at the pillion
    To the tune of eleven cool billion
    He said it was true !
    That he knew better than me
    and a lot better than you ,-
    His word against 4.8 million !

    Come English, come Joyce
    and come Tolley
    It seems like their all off their trolleys,
    With Bennett and Bridges, Collins
    And Gerry,
    Tis’ the election time scramble for lollies !

    There once was a wheedler called Key
    Who’s growing unpopularity , – caused him to flee
    His austerity measures
    caused divers displeasure’s
    That the Mayor and the country could see !

    So the wheedler went on his way,
    Leaving Billy boy in charge of the fray
    Then along did come Joyce
    -and despite dildo of choice,
    caused Billy to lose on the day !

    Now there are some right wingers would say,
    The Greens have lost all their way
    But the ones screaming most,
    Are the ones who did boast
    That Labour and Greens could not play !

    So now in mere month it has turned
    Former mocking laughter is spurned,
    Along came Adern ,
    took away their fourth term
    and their Dirty Politics
    That they had learned !

  8. bert says:

    There was once an old man called Joyce

    Who Cosby and Textor gave voice

    Joyce looked for a hole

    But found a dildo

    And now is on the dole not by choice.

  9. Hongi Ika says:

    The double dipping doolan from Dipton?

  10. Hongi Ika says:

    Joyce the voice of choice ?

  11. Verbal Diaorrhea says:

    When patrickgowernz
    had a neuron pop in his head,
    he coined #Ladyquake,
    but the ladies said “wait!
    We only say that word in bed!”

  12. e-clectic says:

    Child poverty rates not getting smaller
    If you want action, she’s just a staller
    Sort out the homeless?
    Nup, she’s just boneless
    Why the fuck would you vote for Paula?

  13. e-clectic says:

    The planet is just getting hotter
    Of useful action there’s not a lotta
    Don’t wanna be rude
    But we’re probably screwed
    The respite? Lame verse from His Socialistness, Chris Trotter.