MEDIAWATCH: Shane Jones on The AM Show threatens to nuke Northland – I’m not joking


Christ I hate The AM Show on TV3 – it’s not just the pandering to all right wing bigotry that annoys me, it’s also its knuckle dragging wilful ignorance on almost every single issue that confronts us as a nation.

I’m working hard to lower my AM Show intake to watch Breakfast on TVNZ instead because watching The AM Show every day is the intellectual equivalence of eating a pie, coke and chips for breakfast.

Poor old Amanda Gillies is an actual journalist and she is constantly talked over by the boys whenever she tries to make a valid point. The sadness in her eyes is only matched by Melania Trump’s hollow empty sockets and I think we need to start planning an intervention to save Amanda from this train wreck the way Greg Boyed had to be saved from being part of Seven Sharp.

There’s the sports boofhead who also hosts their renovation porn show who has all the charm of a book burning event crossed with a road accident involving a school bus and then there is Duncan Garner who bloke hosts this hot mess with all the vision of a blind cyclops.

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This mornings offering managed to scrape a barrel lower than their normal standards by having Shane Jones as a guest.  The Jonesy, the great waa waa of the North, the orator of Whangarei was on blowing hard about gangs boxing in Northland.

Now one would have thought that the Jonsey would be interested in actually putting ideas together that would solve gang violence issues stemming from chronic under investment in jobs, a corrupt local Police force in Northland and the counter productive move by the Government to inadvertently reset the entire economic model of the NZ criminal underworld by moving the evidential thresholds for the proceeds of crimes act.

One would have thought.

Instead, the Jonsey gave us a taste of the kind of speaking out your arse hyperbole fuckwittedness that is sure to become a hallmark of his campaign.

On The AM Show this morning, the great waa waa of the North said that if he could deal with the gangs the way he wanted to, he would get a nuke from North Korea and launch it at the Gangs….

…ummm, what?

According to our best knowledge, North Korea has anywhere between 13 and 21 nuclear warheads ranging in power from 10 to 30 kilotons.

Let’s for arguments sake say that the Jonsey can in fact smuggle a 10 kiloton warhead out of North Korea. The main gangs in Northland are Black Power, The Nomads, The Tribesmen and the Headhunters, with the largest presence being Black Power. Their power base is in Kaikohe.

Now a 10 kiloton nuclear device detonated in Kaikohe would be pretty noticeable to the people of Northland.

Everything would be vaporised within a 1 kilometre radius of the blast zone. 3000 square kilometres would be contaminated (which would engulf most of the North Island), and the flash from the explosion would be seen for hundreds of kilometres, temporarily blinding people up to 20 kilometres away.  The ‘good’ news is that the 8 kilometre high mushroom cloud would only keep its shape for a few minutes which would limit the rain of debris to just everywhere north of Whangarei.

Casualty wise, Shane Jones’ nuke would immediately kill most of the residents of Kaikohe and set in motion a nuclear winter that would spread anywhere between  300 to 800 Roentgens of radioactive contamination.

While a precise death figure is difficult to calculate, Shane’s nuke would probably kill anywhere upwards of 100 000 New Zealander’s when blast and radiation poisoning is taken into account.

While it is true that the rebuild from launching a nuclear weapon against your own population would bring jobs and businesses to Northland, the difficulty would be in getting construction firms to agree to working in highly radioactive zones where many of their workers would die.

I’m sure the Jonsey will be able to offer a few sweeteners into the kai pot to get them in there though.

So all in all, nuking your own population to eliminate the gang problem seems to be a tad over ambitious. The fact that Shane Jones can get on TV3, make a ridiculously violent promise that plays to the ignorance of the audience and go unchallenged only serves to remind me why I shouldn’t watch this retarded fuckwittedness first thing in the morning.




  1. About Amanda Gillies trying to be a journalist on the show.
    Go back to a piece from Shakespeare.
    “Every man has his price”
    And I think he was talking about men as in humans, not just males.
    Journalistic integrity gave way to the lures of the corporate dollar a long time ago.

  2. oh well at least he can’t use the “nuke ’em” line again, can he?

    perhaps Mr Jones has just realised the size of the obsequious Mr Reti’s majority, and is not taking the electoral contest too seriously

  3. Can’t understand how anyone can watch any of these programmes, so incredibly vapid, hosts and guests acting the goat; could probably find more maturity and insight in the children’s programming elsewhere on the intellectually forsaken television in this country. That timeslot was better in the past; educational programming on One, 1960s comedies on Three.

  4. I have been driven away for a very long time from any NZ news channel Martyn.

    I flick between FOX and RT for most of the world news as very little local news is even covered on the local channels except for folly and natural events floods and earthquakes.

    Radio NZ has declined to just a slight nit picker around Government policy.

    We actually have the most useless media i have ever witnessed in my 73yrs of lving,

    I have noticed that Radio NZ has become far less critical of the government of late and only Guyon seems willing to offer a stringing attack on any politician now, as he did this morning when he interviewed Bill English about the relaxing of the immigration rules again.

    I departed for FOX then and RT for some sanity treatment.

    I remember when we actually had some fighters on our side attacking the current government but today we no longer have any REAL investigative journalists today.

  5. Christ I hate The AM Show on TV3 – it’s not just the pandering to all right wing bigotry that annoys me, it’s also its knuckle dragging wilful ignorance on almost every single issue that confronts us as a nation.

    I honestly can’t watch it. It’s not just “wilful ignorance”, it’s OUTRIGHT ignorance. Duncan is clearly way out of his depth on just about everything (not just political “issues”). The IQ on display barely gets to double digits, and his general knowledge is basically non-existent. I honestly don’t think he knows the difference beween a virus and a bacteria. Or plant and fungi. Or a shark and a whale. Or a star and planet. And you seriously expect him to disseminate and interview all manner of subjects and people and with any sort of credibility?
    Frankly, Paul Henry, as boorish as he is, operated effectively the same show format on a much higher level.

  6. It was hyperbole – a rhetorical device being used by our loquacious Shane Jones. It was also stupid. But did you have to take it so literally? Let Shane Jones try this appeal to the least literate. It sounds to me as if he is getting a bit desperate. Credibility?

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