GUEST BLOG: Andra Jenkin – Tweeter of the Free World

By   /   March 11, 2017  /   13 Comments

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Trump’s presidency is being run not from the Whitehouse, but from his smartphone. Why Twitter founder Jack Dorsey hasn’t put us all out of our misery and shut down his account, or better yet, why some dweeb with too much time and lotion on his hands hasn’t hacked the account and run the presidency from his mother’s basement, is beyond me.

Trump’s presidency is being run not from the Whitehouse, but from his smartphone. Why Twitter founder Jack Dorsey hasn’t put us all out of our misery and shut down his account, or better yet, why some dweeb with too much time and lotion on his hands hasn’t hacked the account and run the presidency from his mother’s basement, is beyond me.

But if you want to know what President Trump is up to, Twitter is the place to go. I’ve planned some self-flagellation for later on tonight as I’m guilty of joining the 26 million people following @realDonaldTrump. I’m sure we all have good reasons for stroking the monster’s ego, but I do feel dirty and traitorous none the less.

I was trying to mind my own business this week. I took almost a whole week off from rubbernecking at the horrors the American president is visiting upon creation, to do things that didn’t make me want to retch then kill myself. I got on with my life and rather than getting hard evidence, I just assumed he was still getting his news from Fox, and Fox was getting their news from him in a completely pointless circle jerk of factless ignorance.
But then I accidently heard that Trump thinks Obama has listened in on his pre-election campaign conversations using a wiretap, and almost wrenched an earlobe trying to listen to this new unlikely atrocity.

Only Trump is capable of coming up with a scenario involving himself, Obama and a wiretap and casting Obama as Nixon.

Why Obama would think for an instant that Trump was worth tapping is beyond the ken of anyone other than the grand pooh bah himself. Back then nobody thought he would win.

But politics requiring too much concentration to deal with for long, it was only an hour after accusing Obama of something that Nixon was impeached over, that Trump started dissing Arnie.

Arnie has the job Trump used to have, Trump’s got the job Obama used to have, is Trump so insecure that he has to turn everything into a pissing contest? There’s someone working in a Russian laundry who knows for sure, but the rest of us can guess.

Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s just senile and got confused by which of the men who occupied the same job as he has, he was supposed to be tweeting about.
But the tweeters of the internet disagreed, a sample of the reactions show his followers had mixed emotions. Some were concerned.

@peterbrack: “This tweet, directly after an accusation of Obama wiretapping you? Are you ok? We’re all worried.”

@readphilhendrie: “Wait. An hour earlier you were rampaging about tapped phones. Now it’s time for Hollywood news? You’re mentally ill, sir”

Others counted their blessings.

@EdGlavin “we’re so lucky as a nation that you have made time to focus on this today #blessed”
Yet more seemed a bit annoyed.

@alanilagan “STOP. Just stop. You are a menace to our country if you are focussing on this. Let an adult run our country #TrumpRussia”

@marklwalberg: “hey, who’s running the country while you watch tv? We really don’t care that your ratings were better.”

Some even got a bit shouty.

@Leaittnovelist: “OMG with all that is happening THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE CONCERNED WITH?”

Even scrolling through his tweets is disconcerting. How has he got this much time? There are a lot of tweets. Like, a lot. Way more than most people should be able to get away with while they’re at work, let alone when your job is the President of the United States of America.
Which is why some of his followers wanted Trump to do something he appears incapable of, acting like a president.

@anniewallace: “Are you EVER going to stop acting like a spoiled brat and try and bring some dignity to your office? No, I thought not.”

But Trump is not an actor; he’s a reality TV star. In reality TV, it’s the person who really thinks they deserve to win the most that does so. It’s as if the fourth wall came down and his delusions of grandeur became so strong they came true. Like a twisted Pinocchio with head cavity full of wood rot, Donald Trump was determined to become a real president and the Steve Bannon fairy granted his wish. But there the similarity ends. Pinocchio, although made of wood, walked and talked like a real boy. Far from acting presidential, Donald is acting like a marionette.

Try as I might, I can’t figure out if the way the President is tweeting echoes his destructive cabinet choices. They appear to be random, idiotic and senseless, but maybe he’s not batshit crazy. Well, he is, but maybe the way that is expressed is deliberate.

What if Bannon just winds him up, shoves him in front of Fox and gives him his phone for a reason? If you scroll through his texts all the way back to before the campaign (assuming you haven’t removed your eyes or your brain with a plastic spork while doing so), you’ll see a whole lot of rally pictures with ‘Make America Great Again’ all over them, but only the occasional tweet that shows just how out of touch with reality the reality tv star was.

Either someone has gone through and deleted a good portion of the crazy, his campaign manager managed to manage his nutbar outbursts, or he was more in control of himself back then.

But now the insane ramblings and bizarre accusations have gotten so hyperbolic The Joker could take his correspondence course. If he wasn’t so bloated, I’d be wondering if the paranoid accusatory fantasies weren’t due to a massive out of control meth addiction.

But maybe he’s crazy like a fox. Is the outrageous behaviour all an act? He seems deranged, but an orange clown waving and ranting and screaming ‘Look at me!’ might be the point. He’s getting a lot of terrible, non-constitutional legislation through executive orders through, while he’s creating one stupid tweet after another then forgetting them, like a gold fish with ADHD.

So is this a case of the magician’s assistant doing his job? Donald is wearing a glittering sequined number, while Bannon waves his wand and pulls racist legislation out of his arse. The worst part is that the outcome will happen before we figure out where Trump is coming from.

Andra Jenkin co-wrote Double-Edged Sword- The Simonne Butler Story, and contributed to New Zealand Anthology of Women’s Comics ‘Three Words.’

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13 Comments

  1. jax says:

    So Andra, you are outraged by Trump’s tweets especially the one in which he accuses Obama of wiretapping him.

    Flynn’s conversation with the Russian ambassador was recorded whilst in the Trump Tower and led to his termination which may suggest that there is some substance to his allegations. Wikileaks latest revelations of Vault7 supports this.

    Trump is actually smarter than you think. He has found the way to get his message out without it being distorted and corrupted by the MSM and boy do you all just hate it !

    Whilst I worry about Trump’s attitude to Iran, North Korea and China, I truly believe for our survival he needs to be allowed to reach an accomodation with Russia without the toxic outreach of the neocons/intelligence community and the military industrial complex, who have a vested interest in the war industry.

    The only relevance so far for us in NZ is cancellation of the TPPA for which I applaud him.

    Have we heard any outrage from you about Obamas drone strikes on 7 countries, his arming of the Saudis along with the Brits against the Yemenis, the arming of jihadis in Syria to take out a leader of a sovereign country causing the largest refugee catastrophe ever and the re-emergence of yet another cold war with Russia, events which are all still ongoing ?

  2. Otto Mann says:

    ” or better yet, why some dweeb with too much time and lotion on his hands hasn’t hacked the account and run the presidency from his mother’s basement, is beyond me.”

    Perhaps because nothing that a hacker could dream up could possibly rival the demented thoughts coming out of the brain of the troll in the White House. Trump is his own best parody.

    What’s that old saying that in a democracy you get the government you deserve?

    (Cue Trump supporters coming to defend their Fuhrer!!)

    If I believed in reincarnation, I’d say I’ve lived through this in Europe, in the 1930s.

  3. Otto Mann says:

    Oh, but wait, Jax, Hilary Clinton would’ve been WORSE! She would’ve tweeted TWICE as much and declared TWO World War 3s!!

    Yeah, Clinton oversaw US interference in Libya. Trump authorised bombing of civilians in Yemen. Much of a sameness? Once an imperial power, ALWAYS an imperial power. The only diff is that the Yanks have a foul-mouthed, peeping-tom, crotch-grabbing, homophobic, lying, manipulative, narcissist in the Oval Office. God help us all

    At least Key only tugged at pony tails!!

  4. CLEANGREEN says:

    FUNNY HOW WE ARE BEING PUSHED TOWARDS USING NTHIS DIGITAL MEDIA TODAY BUT THE OLD GAURD MEDIA ARE SHIT SCARRED OF LOOSING THE PLOT AS MANY OF US JOIN THE NEW DIGITAL SOCIAL MEDIA AS THEY ARE PUSHING US TO DO SO TRUMP IS RIGHT TO GO WITH THE NEW MEDIA TO.

    OBAMA USED IT ALSO WHEN HE FIRST RAN FOR HIS FIRST ELECTION SO WHY NOT TRUMP?

    • Pete says:

      I agree there’s nothing wrong with Trump using the media of today.

      It’s an equal opportunity world, so the batshit crazy, mental defectives and insanely egotistical are enabled. So therefore he’s included.

    • peter says:

      well said Jax…..

  5. Helena says:

    I’ve been up and down the various rabbit holes that my head spins. Keeping to the upper part of the body – my hat’s off to Trump. I give the last tweet via SGTReport to Kim Dotcom:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO_mSZLA8QU