English’s cabinet reshuffle a noose for his own neck while Matthew Hooton rubs his greasy mitts with glee



English’s cabinet reshuffle is bewilderingly dangerous for Bill’ longevity as leader.

1. Bill English

Prime Minister

Minister for National Security and Intelligence

Minister Responsible for Ministerial Services

2. Paula Bennett

Deputy Prime Minister

Minister of State Services

Minister for Women

Minister of Tourism

Minister of Police

Minister for Climate Change Issues

3. Steven Joyce

Minister of Finance

Minister for Infrastructure

4. Gerry Brownlee

Minister supporting Greater Christchurch Regeneration

Minister of Defence

Minister of Civil Defence

Leader of the House

Minister Responsible for the Earthquake Commission

5. Simon Bridges

Minister for Economic Development

Minister of Transport

Minister for Communications1

Deputy Leader of the House

Associate Minister of Finance

6. Amy Adams

Minister of Justice

Minister for Courts

Minister for Social Housing

Minister Responsible for Social Investment

Minister Responsible for HNZC

Associate Minister of Finance

7. Dr Jonathan Coleman

Minister of Health

Minister for Sport and Recreation

8. Christopher Finlayson


Minister for Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations

Minister in Charge of the NZ Security Intelligence Service

Minister Responsible for the GCSB

Associate Minister for Māori Development

9. Michael Woodhouse

Minister of Immigration

Minister for Workplace Relations and Safety

Minister for ACC

10. Anne Tolley

Minister for Children

Minister for Social Development

Minister of Local Government

11. Hekia Parata

Minister of Education

12. Nathan Guy

Minister for Primary Industries

Minister for Racing

Associate Minister for Economic Development

13. Murray McCully

Minister of Foreign Affairs

14. Nikki Kaye

Minister for Youth

Associate Minister of Education

15. Dr Nick Smith

Minister for the Environment

Minister for Building and Construction

16. Judith Collins

Minister of Revenue

Minister of Energy and Resources

Minister for Ethnic Communities

17. Todd McClay

Minister of Trade

Minister for State Owned Enterprises

18. Maggie Barry

Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage

Minister of Conservation

Minister for Seniors

19. Paul Goldsmith

Minister for Tertiary Education, Skills and Employment

Minister of Science and Innovation

Minister for Regulatory Reform

20. Louise Upston

Minister of Corrections

Associate Minister of Education

Associate Minister for Primary Industries

Associate Minister for Tertiary Education, Skills and Employment

21. Alfred Ngaro

Minister for Pacific Peoples

Minister for the Community and Voluntary Sector

Associate Minister for Children

Associate Minister for Social Housing

22. Nicky Wagner

Minister of Customs

Minister for Disability Issues

Associate Minister supporting Greater Christchurch Regeneration

Associate Minister of Conservation

Associate Minister of Health

Associate Minister of Tourism

23. Mark Mitchell

Minister for Land Information

Minister of Statistics

Associate Minister of Justice

24. Jacqui Dean

Minister of Commerce and Consumer Affairs

Minister for Small Business

Associate Minister for ACC

Associate Minister of Local Government

25. David Bennett

Minister of Veterans’ Affairs

Minister for Food Safety

Associate Minister of Immigration

Associate Minister of Transport

Support party ministers

Peter Dunne

Minister of Internal Affairs

Associate Minister of Conservation

Associate Minister of Health

Te Ururoa Flavell

Minister for Māori Development

Minister for Whānau Ora

Associate Minister for Economic Development

Parliamentary under-secretary

David Seymour

Parliamentary Under-Secretary to the:

Minister of Education

Minister for Regulatory Reform

Here are the real dynamics at play.

Clearly Judith Collins has bee slapped in the face and demoted but it’s an incredibly dangerous move by English.

Collins has been demoted while English has had to allow some of the backbenchers in, but that’s part of English’s problem. Alfred Ngaro and Mark Mitchell are hard right wing stromtrropers who are Judith Collins boys so she’s managed to build numbers in the Cabinet.

Simon Bridges is Matthew Hooton’s plant for the next Prime Minister so he’ll be thrilled his Manchurian candidate has risen through the ranks.

They’ve dumped having a Housing Minister altogether because National are being crucified on that front.

The completely useless Louise Upston who has been an embarrassment to women as Women’s Affairs Minister has been given Corrections and my pick is she will be the first to get crushed. We know already that many of the worst aspects of what have already been revealed in terms of fight clubs and stand over tactics in Serco prisons have already occurred at their Wiri Prison. Once the mainstream media slowly catch onto that story, Louise is toast.

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Paula Bennett has gained Minister of Women’s Affairs in a desperate attempt to humanise her.

This reshuffle is an attempt to manage the political ambitions within National while trying to neuter Collins as the greatest challenger to Bennett. It is flawed because it’s ended up humiliating her publicly, brought staunch supporters of hers into the Cabinet and has set a fuse with Louise Upston about to front a new scandal at Wiri.

This reshuffle is actually a noose for English’s own neck while Matthew Hooton rubs his greasy mitts with glee.




  1. “Paula Bennett has gained Minister of Women’s Affairs in a desperate attempt to humanise her.”


  2. Good luck humanising Bennett. That’s going to be like persuading the general populace a hessian sack full of broken glass and anthrax is actually a cashmere sweater. And poor old Louise Upston. Handed the poison chalice that so effectively annihilated Sam Lotu-Iiga. Brace yourself Louise. It’s going to get much, much worse before it gets better. If it gets better at all. Which I very much doubt. Face it, you’re doomed.

    And what about Nick “Minister of Incompetence” Smith? I mean, just how many times does one man have to fuck shit up before he gets thrown under the bus? Unbelievable. Still… at least McCully’s been chucked on the bonfire, and not before time.

    • I agree withe Louise Upston comments. She has taken on much more than she probably realises with Corrections. Once the public wake up to the vast increases in spending to satisfy the incessant calls to lock people up ($1b plus running costs just for another 1800 beds). They may also be starting to wake up to the possibility that the Serco problems are not only in their prisons – take a look at the record of the Department run prisons and Mount Eden since they “stepped in”.
      She will be toast.

  3. Perhaps we should look at English more like a kind of caretaker PM, a transition PM, while there are other ambitious candidates waiting in the wings. I have a feeling that Bill English may himself leave politics at some time soon after the next elections.

    Bennett has only got her deputy job, because Bill English has treated her like an apprentice over the years, also used her as the face of welfare reforms, using carrot and stick (more stick than carrot of course), as a former sole parent with a kind of “human touch” (albeit rather fake).

    Judith Collins will now start preparing a coup of sorts in the next year or two, I think, she knows that her time in politics will not last forever, she is getting older by the year, and having two important portfolios that she cherished taken off her, that will infuriate her.

    She will work on other National MPs and try to get her numbers. If she cannot see a chance to roll English or take over once he has signaled he had enough, she will probably resign herself from Parliament. But I sense the battle lines are drawn now.

    When English goes, then Bennett will also go soon afterwards, she may be popular with some in the party, but she has embarrassed herself and the government too often, to become PM herself, she will not have the numbers.

    Simon Bridges as PM is what Mr Hooton may consider realistic, I am not so sure. He may be smart and capable in some ways, but I feel he is not that much of a bridge builder and diplomat to work with the more hard-nosed people within the National Party.

    It is my presumption that the Nats will lose next election, as there will be some signs of disunity and also confusion re the future direction. It will be more muddling through, while the economy will slow down soon. People will see the writing on the wall, and worry about their future, and finally give Labour and Greens a chance.

    What Labour and Greens need to do is work out a firm and resolute plan and agenda, present convincing alternatives and stick to the word and what they propose.

    It will perhaps not be the kind of government many of us desire, but at least we may get rid of the Nats and that ACT hanger on from Epsom running the show. Also watch Ohariu, Mr Dunne may get a real challenger, and once he is gone, the cards need to be mixed again.

  4. I have to agree about Louise Upston, why didn’t English demote her right from the start, now it will only be a short time and she will be completely overwhelmed with her new Cabinet post and sacked for incompetence. Talk about dying by a thousand cuts. She is stupid but should have been culled before this appointment ends up a debacle. If this is planned and he wants her gone he should have had the bottle to do it now.

    Crusher will have fun plotting away merrily – one should always keep your enemies close – English hasn’t a clue about survival.

  5. Same ultra right wing zealots that wouldn’t even know what “National” was meant to stand for Martyn.

    National stands for the “people of the country” and this lot will eagerly sell everything remaining if they find anything left to squander so they will leave nothing for “the people of the country”.

  6. Hilarious. And Orwellian.

    Minister for Climate Change Issues

    Minister of Conservation

    Minister of Justice

    Minister for Sport and Recreation

    Minister for Food Safety

    Minister for Racing

    But there seems to be an oversight: who is Minister for Silly-Walks?

  7. You have to assume all those years of 2IC to JFK has convinced Srr English that we are still as stupid as we needed to be to believe the tall tales.
    Trouble is… the pixie dust had vanished with the morning sun. All the children who followed the pied piper, woke up as from a dark dream, looked at each other in wonder and wandered home, ‘cept home had vanished and in its place a pumpkin car.

    An invisible Housing Minister only works when under the magic cloak Bill. Merry Christmas, ho, ho ho.

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