GUEST BLOG: Ruby Joy – A place to belong



I grew up in church and consider myself to be a Christian yet finding a church that resembles anything I attended most of my life that welcomes me as a lesbian woman has proved impossible.

I have also been a feminist for a while and gay since I knew what gay was but finding a cohort of lesbian feminists that welcomes me as a feminist lesbian Christian prostitute has proved just as difficult as finding a church.

I’m a contradiction to them both, in essence I don’t exist. How can I be gay and a Prostitute and a Christian? Surely it is not possible. And how can I be Christian and a prostitute and anything close to a feminist lesbian?

Well why not? Christians tell me God loves and accepts me just the way I am so what’s the problem? LGBTI groups tell me I can love who ever I want to so who are they to say wether I love God or not. Feminists tell me it’s my body and I can do what I want with it without anyone else having a say so who are they to call me victim or traitor?

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The real contradictions here are the some Christians who can’t accept or love gay people or Prostitutes as their own Jesus taught and feminists that degrade whole groups of women for their sexual exploits, and the rainbow community assuming and labelling all Christians as gay hating homophobes.

It’s a dilemma and after a lot of searching I have found one congregation willing to accept and welcome me just as I am. It’s a small group members come and go but the regulars make sure there’s always a friendly face to greet you at the door. We talk about love and life and God and work and debate politics and gender, we eat and drink and laugh together sometimes chatting till the early hours of the morning and everyone is welcome.

At last this gay Christian feminist Prostitute has found a place to belong, and it was just around the corner all along. So instead of trying out unwelcoming churches, strange new religions that don’t resemble anything you’ve seen before in church, rainbow groups that turn frosty at your love for a higher being they have been incorrectly informed hates them, and feminist groups that tell you what you can and can’t do with your sexuality to be truly liberated as a women then try this new more accepting place of fellowship, it’s called a pub and there may just be one around the corner from you.


Ruby Joy is a sex worker and human rights activist


  1. Your story is a sad one with a happy twist at the end.
    I’m glad you have found fellowship and friendship in this hostile world.

  2. Thanks for another great article Ruby, I burst out laughing at the end of your last sentence, which was unexpected after such a serious read.

  3. The teachings of the Christ lie within ones Heart. In my opinion, religion/churches and those who dress themselves up in robes and entertain the crowds with “rituals” are merely actors on their stages (put your money in the jar). See you in the Pub 😀

  4. It’s the prostitute bit that’s concerning. There are many, many devout Anglican lesbians including a lot of lesbian vicars so what’s the problem? Nobody should have to be a prostitute, gay or straight, male or female. Get yourself a committed partner and try to have a better lifestyle. Being a prostitute will only lead to a life of loneliness, bitterness and disillusionment.

  5. I go to a GLBT spirituality group in Auckland which has Christian members. Details should be available through Outline 0800 688 5463.

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