TDB Political Caption Competition


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  1. How many abattoirs do you want?



    Just say the word and it’s all yours!

    Can also throw in a few thousand Kiwi TPPA dissenters as entertainment, to add to your decapitation list if you like!

  2. “No no, dear Mr Eminent Shake! Your beheading of 47 of your opponents doesn’t worry me in the least at all! Ackchully, to tell you the truth, the ONLY thing that really really saddens me is that you have hidden your pony tail away from me! Why?”

    • Please sir, do you mind lifting that rag up a little bit so I can tug at your pony tail for a few seconds? I’ll even gift you two very choice bottles of my wine if you give me that little pleasure.

  3. Because human rights are a non-issue when it comes to free trade agreements NZ sends its top sociopath to front Saudi talks.

  4. “Beheading’s are fun John, you get to watch the family break down in grief. Man it’s such a laugh.

    Stakes are awesome too, the death takes days”

  5. “Are you able to send over some of your experienced knife wielding executioners to set up “business” outside Sky City, to make examples of anti TPP protesters, on Thursday 4 February. I will make it well worth your while from NZ taxpayer funds Your Sheikness, Eminence, Honour or whatever you want me to call you.”

  6. “Your Majesty, I would like to nominate you for the honour of Knight of the British Empire. That may lend a little dignity to your somewhat arbitrary practice of beheading people. One of our past Kings disposed of two of his six wives by having them beheaded.”

  7. “I’m looking forward to seeing your sheep Mr John. A wise old Arab once said ‘women for babies, boys for pleasure, camels for ecstasy’ and I do believe your fine ewes will be very welcome here…”

  8. “And I do consider his Excellency the President of the United States, Mr Barack Obama, to be a personal friend.”
    “No way, that’s another thing we have in common.”

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