Open letter to Last Week Tonight – Dear John Oliver – please mock our PM for making worm farming a high risk industry

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Dear John Oliver.

We here in New Zealand don’t have any satire as such, our media are as stale as month old mutton and spend so much time sucking up to the Right Wing John Key National Party that they make Fox News look actually fair and balanced.

This total lack of political satire means the unbelievable things our Prime Minister does and gets away with leave most progressive folk in a deep despair that borders on suicide watch, however your glorious take downs of our Prime Minister’s ponytail pulling…

…and flag referendum, and Eminem taking on our PM have become rare moments of sanity. We beg of you to do it again.

This week our Prime Minister has reworked health and safety laws so that his business friends in the dairy, lamb and beef industries do not have to provide the kind of work safety standards that would see our appalling work injury rates lower. In doing so the National Government have made these industries ‘low risk’ while making worm farming, parrot breeding, rabbit breeding and mini golf ‘high risk industries’.

The NZ media can’t and won’t ruthlessly mock this, we beg you, an Englishman, to take pity on your former colony and do the mocking for us.

TDB Recommends NewzEngine.com

Best of regards

People of New Zealand

28 COMMENTS

  1. Again, this defies belief, is utterly ridiculous and embarrassing and shows clear bias to a certain industry. John Key has blood on his hands again, he can’t work out right from wrong and every day I hear him speak I die just a little bit inside. He has to stop, he’s ruining our country.

  2. Yes , Mr Oliver….over here in New Zealand we have 6 meter long carnivorous worms which are being farmed on a commercial basis.

    Some weighing in as much as a 6 meter great white shark and just as deadly.

    These are incredibly high risk ventures regarding health and safety aspects – so much so that our Prime Minister has deemed it so.

    We simply would like the outside world to be well informed of these hazards before any would – be unsuspecting tourists or immigrants venture forth to our fine country without prior warning and lacking adequate health insurance .

    And we believe that since you have such a large following – albeit often on account of the comedic content – that regardless of this fact , you are in a perfect position to issue this notification to any future traveler’s to New Zealand.

    Our Prime Minister ( the pony tail pulling one ) would sincerely appreciate your patronage regarding this matter and has appointed this blog to request humbly your services on this matter .

    We thank you for your consideration of this civic request and trust you perceive the gravity this situation to lend your support on this most pressing of issue’s.

    • Fox. FFS. Fox is more right-wing than Genghis Khan or Sir Roger Douglas? Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity criticizing John Key a National aka Republican politician – give me a break here.

      Where did Luigi Wewegi come from? What about John Palino? The links between the right-wing and NZ local and (N)ational politics needed someone like John Campbell to investigate, NOT Bill O’Reilly. FOX. FFS. Are you for real? DOWNWITHNATS? Or are you indulging in satire?

  3. Maybe we could get the Guardian newpaper to report other aspects of our pm ,or maybe Edward Snowdon. Quite sure this comment will be made to disappear by the hackers, don’t know why JK targets TDB, his henchmen are I think already doing it. I could be wrong though,.

  4. Dear John Oliver,
    I have noticed a stunning resemblance between your goodself and our Tim Groser MP. Are you in fact his love child?
    Maybe he just looks like you 30 years from now.
    It is not too late to take your own life or see a plastic surgeon.
    Yours sincerely
    J J Bark

  5. I have got man eating worms in my worm farm at present here in Auckland, provided you keep them well fed with organic waste there is not a problem. Problems occur when they run out of organic matter to digest, that is when they will seek out human flesh as a substitute source of food. These worms can travel up to 800m over a 24 hour period and are very mobile under wet conditions, hence your neighbours could have potential problems.

  6. Yes Mr Oliver,

    All our parrots look dead but in fact are only sleeping. This imperils their handlers on a regular basis not to mention our parrot undertakers. The injuries are numerous and horrific. Many of those once employed in this industry have fled to the dairy, lamb and beef industry, only to find they have lept from the frying pan into the fire so to speak. This appalling situation begs your attention.

  7. NZ Herald, RadioLive, Newstalk ZB and the TV3 political team provide us with plenty of satire.
    They have me in stitches on a regular basis.

    • Arh. I see what you did there. Classic New Zealand understated sarcasm. We have a couple of minutes a week. Corbett and Ego on The Nation. And Like Mike on Hauraki

  8. Remember this man John Key received a name 19 yrs.’ ago as “the smiling assassin”

    This after he was tasked with the job of sacking several hundred Merrill lynch employees.

    He was extremely successful at sacking that he earned the name with honour, so he has been employed to carry out the same task here and so far has been successful yet again.

    Why don’t the sacked Political Journalists get together and publish dirt on this creepy person we have now ruining the very fabric of this country our fighting men died on foreign fields and beaches to save, when this dictator comes marching into NZ quietly and gets bumped up to PM and demolishes our precious way of life without a shoot fired?

    Time to start getting together Political journalists out of work and become our hero’s.

  9. The time has now arrived for taxpayers to totally fund State housing by way of free power, free heaters, free rodent eradication, free section clearing and lawn mowing, free food for the kids bred for income whilst attending school, free access to all medical requirements, interest free loans for the purchase of late model cars seen parked on berms with impunity. This seems to be the demands MSM and leeches of the left require those already paying too much support for the wrong types breeding feral brats.

  10. The letter is certainly correct about our lack of political satire. I remember as a kid looking forward to each episode of A Week of It. Some of the skits were quite beyond my comprehension as a ten yr old, but I still remember a few. Lampooning farmers woes with the words of a song “…. a new mercedes is 90 grand, whine, whine whine.” and a regular interviewer named Fraser Dick. Who was that character mocking?

    • Yes well…that was back in the day when NO govt was safe from lampoonery – it didn’t matter if it was Rob Muldoon or Bill Rowling – all were up for satire if they were acting ridiculously.

      By contrast today we have private interests acting in collusion with an extremely anti democratic neo liberal govt that cannot suffer any criticism whatsoever.

      And this is no joke .

      At all.

      This is the early stages and forerunner to Fascism. And that is the removal of all forms of criticism of govt. One only has to witness Dita De Boni and John Campbell to understand how devious and surreptitious this govt is acting.

      This is no longer any joke or satire…this dangerous political territory we have now entered into.

  11. Dear John Oliver.

    To quote a popular media claim here that ‘He is seen as in touch with ordinary NZdrs,’ is clearly something out of the novel, Alice in Wonderland.

    More often he is being caught staring at the camera like a possum caught is staring at the headlights of a oncoming car. Possums are pests here destroying our forests n wild live, like Key is doing to democracy.

    Can we at least ask you to ask the Queen to totally wash her hands of our politically blighted little Dominion down in the Pacific. I’m sure she has better things to do than have much to do with NZ n morning tea’s.

    PS, they have done a great photoshop of you on our new money.
    But we still need to become a republic, so that we can have a proper constitution and U.S.A laws like impeachment, or stupidity.

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