Rachel Glucina’s 50 shades of Key’s Grey Chest Hair




What can one say about Rachel Glucina’s rather breathless description of Key’s topless selfie???

The bare-chest bravado was, we can report, snapped moments before plunging into the spa pool at chez Key on the weekend.

John, tufts of grey body hair adorning his chest, plays photographer. His son Max, standing self-assuredly behind him, sports cocked fingers and a hair style that can only be described as “in momentum”.

Phallic-shaped conifers shoot up to the sky. Fairy lights hang delicately from the spouting of the pool house. And the toned torsos of the shirtless studs have prompted winks and nods around the country.

Bare-chested bravado? Tufts of grey body hair adorning chests? Toned torsos? Shirtless studs?

Phallic-shaped conifers???

Can someone please hose Miss Glucina down? How this was posted in the politics area of the NZ Herald seems as bizarre as the fact that shortly after this, the paper edited the piece to remove all the panting.

The last time the Herald had to re-edit this much was when trying to explain how Glucina gained access to Amanda Bailey.


  1. Ha!…wait til Gluacoma gets a snapshot of a REAL toned hardman like Vladimir Putin !!

    He’d kick both Key and Abbot clear across central Asia before they knew what hit them.

    And unlike the two schoolboys above…he deals with real world changing events – and takes his job seriously.

    Unlike that self indulgent slob Key.

    N.B …And before some neo liberal quack jumps on the thing about Putin…they embarked on a major revamping of cathedrals – have for some time…and why is it that Islam, Christianity , Buddhism , and the Jewish religion all co exist peacefully there and not in the West?

    • Utter nonsense from Glucina and the Herald, but nothing surprising there.


      “….and why is it that Islam, Christianity , Buddhism , and the Jewish religion all co exist peacefully there….”

      Really? Don’t want to reconsider that one?

  2. Ye Gods! It reads like one of Jeremy Well’s Hosking Rants.

    Everyone is saying National outflanked Labour in the budget so I guess we can say that Rachel Glucina has done what no one else could and out-flanked satire!

  3. Well well, Martyn,

    So Key’s seedy list of slimy partners in crime is becoming very selfie a public parade for us all isn’t it.

    Join the dots and we have them all as “accessories to the crimes.”

  4. so many lols… i can smell the reek of over-active oestrogen from Wellington …

    The poor love’s got it bad… rotten stinking bad

  5. Wow! What else goes on by the poolside at the Keys?

    Are there swinging parties, topless parties, bottomless parties, champagne and caviar on crisps, with Rachel and the socialites of the Big Smoke girls and boys happening, that I do not know about?

    The least I note is, Glucina, the Rachel one, is very “close” to Kim John Key and Family.

    No wonder the ponytail pulling could go on that long, without serious consequences, no wonder the Herald swiftly dealt back to Amanda, once she dared to consult the Daily Blog.

    We are heading towards a New Zealand becoming like Cuba in the times before 1959, I suppose.

    Don’t mess with the leader, or you will end up as mincemeat on toast, dog tucker, or else.

  6. That was possibly the most noxious pile of bosom-heaving shite I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading. She obviously needs a cup of tea and a lie down.

  7. Herald giving Glaucoma’s oral masturbation space so she can exhibit her slavish devotion.

  8. “at chez Key” ??

    ‘chez Key’ is enough.

    Glucina obviously does not understand the phrase.

  9. I saw that and thought, WTF?
    Someone is trying really hard to push the “ordinary bloke” aspect of dear leader.

  10. Erm, I don’t want to insult Monica Lewinsky, but is Rachel “our very own” Monica?

    *Yucky thoughts*

    I actually haven’t contemplated this before. Thanks? 😀

  11. It’s even possible that Lewinsky might have better taste…..If you can get my drift.

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