TDB Political Caption Competition – Todd Barclay

1. I know Bill, but if the Natz want tobacco £’s then you’ll have 2 put up with ignorant twits like me

2. i peddle/pimp noxious-substances –

   – i’ve moved from tobacco to neo-liberalism..

3. my political-hero..?

   ..easy..!..he who we in the industry called ‘butts’-pete..

   ..dunne – the tobacco/alcohol-pimp godfather..!

   ..he who for so long has shown us all – how it is done..

   ..didyasee him on the wknd dissing the very idea of loosening prohibition on pot..?

   ..brilliant..!..a man at the top of his game..

   ..the best money the tobacco industry has ever spent – supporting that man..

   ..he has over-deliverd for them..

4. the rumour going around that stuart nash and i were made in the same lab –

   – are test-tube brothers – is untrue..

   ..yes..!..there are clear similarities – in both appearance (yes..!..we are both losiing our hair far too soon…)

   ..and politics..(yes..we are both rightwing-clones..who both owe our positions in parliament to outside rightwing-forces..

   ..but that is all just a series of coincidences..

5. Tim Southee’s brief political career ends disastrously.

6. ‘hello mum..!..i got a gold star today..!.

   ..uncle bill gave it to me – and he said i’ve been a good boy..

   ..and so i can get to keep the seat..’..

7. ‘i get a warm glow – (like a cupped -marlboro – on a cold/windy southland nite..)..

   ..when i think of all those kids that got hooked on tobacco –

   – when i was pushing that stuff..

   ..when i was working for big-tobacco..’

8. Hold the phone!, I’m just a little boy in a big man’s chair!

9. Yeah, yeah, I know, I thought I was quite funny today.

10. “…seriously, its not addictive!”

11. Bill said a monkey could stand in Clutha and win!

12. Is it just me or does the sneering little shit remind you of Rik Mayall when he played Alan B’Stard in this work of art ?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_Statesman

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