The Bitchelor Episode 6 – Neo Liberally Loved Up: One Woman’s Reflux

By   /   April 1, 2015  /   8 Comments

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Last night Arty pashed Danni, a kiss we wouldn’t forget. Apparently he forgot. Tonight he was pashing Chrystal Its competition peeps. Then he started pashing Danni again.

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Good grief! It’s Wednesday and I was so excited about the prospect of another episode of The Batchelor that I totally forgot it was on and went out! No really. It’s 9.30 and I’m just sitting down to type up my notes from tonight’s meeting.

Technically it was a lecture but actually it was a discussion group around the interception of neo liberalism and social or state housing. It was really interesting. The first thing we did was frame how we were terming neoliberalism and identifying the driving ideas behind it. There were five fictional concepts that we agreed the current system was based on.

  1. Rule of the market because the market will provide.

Tonight we are back in the house with Arty and the ladies that are contending for his attention. There are twelve ‘lovely young ladies’ left competing for trade with one eligible bachelor who is shopping for a wife. Arty is choosing how to spend his affection and the ladies participating are freely competing. Ultimately the lady with the best prepared assets will win.

Tonight the one on one date went to Chrystal. This is her opportunity to get a real advantage by having time to highlight her point of difference and let Arty know what extras she has. On the date he asks her what her terms and conditions are. They are talking about the deal breakers here people.

  1. Deregulation.

This is crucial in The Bachelor household. We cut regulation for Arty and make it totally acceptable for him to interview women and fire them with no need to be fair or reasonable. He can ditch them at will. The ladies on the other hand as the ones providing the services have more red tape and regulation than getting consent to cut down a tree. Way more than that. They have to dress. Speak and present in a certain way. They need to invest in their bodies and their teeth and their hair. They MUST have hair. Long hair.

Tonight Arty is even providing uniforms in the form of dresses.

  1. Cut public spending for social services.

In The Bachelor mansion-ette there is a form of basic income. Not enough to live on but enough to survive. The longer you stay the more you accrue. Advertisers can sponsor the show. They do. The makeup, the dresses, the cars they travel in and the dates they go on are all just product placements. I don’t know why they just don’t cut the shit and sponsor each lady. They could make them compete for sponsorship!

Tonight’s date is proudly brought to you by the Fish Market, a frock shop that puts small dresses in boxes so I’m not familiar with the label, Michael Hill, Auckland Musem and that paragon of neo liberalism,  Sky City. Maybe the ladies that don’t get hired as Arty’s wife can work at the convention centre?

  1. Privatisation

The ladies in the house don’t need community support or advice from friends. They have producers and directors. They have ratings. There is nothing the private sector can’t do better than the public. These people. The sponsors and the production crew, they know what it takes to generate love.

Tonight Arty rounds up a herd, dresses them up and makes them parade back and forth on a cat walk. You know they walk up and down. Frankly a pole would have added excitement. The best looking one will get an advantage. This is where they sell off their assets. The clothes were interesting. By interesting I mean…interesting. As was the makeup.

Finally

  1. Eliminate the concept of public good.

This way of finding love is so efficient that it is in our own interest that we all meet this way. Put up an ad. Market yourself. You are an individual and may the best lady win. Compete. There is no such thing as a sisterhood. The other ladies are waiting in the wings to point out your wobbly bits and highlight your flaws before they have even had a chance to develop.

Last night Arty pashed Danni, a kiss we wouldn’t forget. Apparently he forgot. Tonight he was pashing Chrystal Its competition peeps. Then he started pashing Danni again.

At the end of the show Arty exclude another lady. Don’t feel bad. She had her chance, the same chance as everyone else. If she had worked harder and put more into it she could have still been in.

It’s not all over. There’s still trickle down.

 

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8 Comments

  1. Kingi says:

    Last night my wife and I forced ourselves to watch it, because we wanted to see it for ourselves. It was worse than we expected. I say “forced ourselves” because we wanted to turn it off after a couple of minutes. But we persevered. We kept asking ourselves, what are the messages that this is ending to kids? The princesses compete for the prize of the prince? There are so many things wrong with it that it is difficult to know where to begin. On so many levels, it is indefensible.

  2. jmh2000 says:

    Great review. I was wondering how you could write about such a dreadful show without making me feel queasy. You managed it – just.

  3. Shona says:

    Nailed it again Kate!

    “Tonight Arty is even providing uniforms in the form of dresses. ”

    “There is no such thing as a sisterhood”

    Laughing into my toast this morning. Keep up the good work.

  4. Writing in this particular Blog is outstanding Kate. The comparison to Neo Lib inspired! I am starting to wonder if J.Arthur Wank is so lacking in solidarity because of his carbless meaningless existence. I imagine him picking at a honey seed bell like My Great Grandmother had for Her budgie…

    • Kate Davis says:

      Oops. I tried to give you a thumbs up but my fat fingers hit the wrong button! Sorry Ms Foxy.

  5. esoteric pineapples says:

    Enjoyed last night’s show. I still don’t know why people would chose to put themselves through it, but then again, I don’t know why people in Christchurch continue to vote for National in huge numbers.

  6. In Vino says:

    Cool once again!

  7. Natasha says:

    The Neo Lib is on the money, but what struck me was that the token brown women have now all been eliminated. That didn’t take long. They never stood a chance. The show wouldn’t stand up to either class nor race analysis either. No amount of ‘working hard and putting more in’ can overcome inherent bias.