NZ History lesson on Planet Key – the lies white people tell themselves



John Key’s bizarre claims about our ‘peaceful history’ comes across like the apartheid history of South Africa where white people discovered Africa first…

New Zealand ‘settled peacefully’ – PM
New Zealand was “settled peacefully” by the British, the prime minister says, despite thousands dying in the land wars after the Treaty of Waitangi was signed.

In an interview on Northland’s Te Hiku Radio yesterday, John Key addressed the Waitangi Tribunal’s finding that the Maori chiefs did not cede sovereignty to Britain when they signed the Treaty in 1840.

The report did not affect the Government’s authority to rule over New Zealand, Key said.

The tribunal last week found the rangatira, or Maori leaders, who signed te Tiriti o Waitangi agreed to share power and authority with Britain, but did not give up sovereignty to the British Crown.

Key said iwi still had a role – including in co-governance of the Waikato River and having input into planning decisions – but the Crown was now the body responsible for governing New Zealand.

Issues over the translation of words such as kawanatanga (governance), used in the Maori text of the treaty, had to be examined in the context of what was happening at the time.

“In my view New Zealand was one of the very few countries in the world that were settled peacefully,” he said.

“Maori probably acknowledge that settlers had a place to play and brought with them a lot of skills and a lot of capital.”

…this new whitewashed chapter of our history will be news to those killed in the many conflicts throughout our history and at Parihaka. What’s most disturbing about this is that it is a real insight into Key’s honestly held belief that NZ was settled peacefully. The dominant culture that benefits from injustice never wants to focus on that injustice, thus in Key’s world, Maori and Pakeha were great mates and the rare times settlers did do wrong will get mopped up by the Tribunal process. Let’s all have a beer around the BBQ.

The fact that Maori lost 95% of access to their land in a century doesn’t matter on Planet Key. I’m not sure an indigenous culture who almost died out from colonisation would consider that ‘peaceful’. For a leader who can’t remember if he supported the Springbok Tour or not, history really isn’t his strong point.



  1. New Zealand was settled however John Key says it was, even though in private he actually believes it was settled by aliens in a silver spaceship

  2. Well, peacefully is overdoing it, but it was relatively peaceful by global standards when it comes to colonisation of indigenous societies outside of the Eurasian-African landmass. That’s probably because the colonisation was more recent, and because by accident the Maori turned out to have a lot in common with the colonists.

    New Zealand has its problems, but the fact that they are front and centre in NZ politics is already a great difference from places like the US or Canada, where First Nations people might as well not exist. When I’ve travelled in the US, Americans have innocently asked me whether I had ever met a Maori or where the Maori live. They are also surprised to learn at the sheer amount of Maori that is part of every New Zealander’s vocabulary (which when you think about it, is a lot).

    So yeah, let’s not pretend nothing is wrong, but let’s not pretend that NZ is anywhere near as bad as other similar countries.

    • “So yeah, let’s not pretend nothing is wrong, but let’s not pretend that NZ is anywhere near as bad as other similar countries…”

      Depends wether you live in white Nu Zullund or brown Nu Zullund really, as it would in other ‘similar countries.

  3. My god, just how ignorant can our PM be? Oh I’m sorry, not. Crawl back in the hole you crawled out of Key. You’re an embarrassment to NZ and its people.

  4. If by “settled” you mean became part of the British Empire then NZ was settled peacefully. What happened is that land was confiscated from Maori tribes (e.g. Waikato) by successive settler government under the pretence of punishing “hostile natives” (check out the relevant Acts of parliaments from the 19th century) and then given to farmers. Funny thing is once these “hostile natives” were dealt with the land was never returned …

  5. “Whoever controls the past controls the future. Whoever controls the present controls the past” (George Orwell, 1984). Big Brother John is getting scarier.

  6. Key has already stated previously that he has no real interest in History .
    Probably because there were no money markets back then that he could manipulate.
    His ignorance knows no bounds!
    And this clown is our Prime Minister……

    • And he clearly has none in things botannical either, as witnessed by his inability to name a plant that Xi noticed.
      Fluffy leaf, hmm, woody nightshade, maybe

    • History would show his political views to be completely misplaced. Which is why he likely resorts to cognitive dissonance when told of the actual facts.

  7. The Musket Wars were peaceful?
    The 1835 conquest of the Moriori was peaceful?

    Hey, everyone had a more brutal morality back then.
    It’s completely invalid to look back and select just one side for moral censure based on modern standards of behavior.

  8. Soooo….now its not only Key the ‘ president’ , Key the beer drinking barbie boy , Key the guy who jollies us along into war and feels ‘comfortable’ about XkeySCORE , ……..its now Key the history revisionist.

    Funny that , …both Stalin , Mao , and Hitler did the same thing.

    About the only thing different between all of them was that Stalin liked his Vodka , Hitler had his vegetarian cocktail and Mao liked his whiskey. And this twit likes beer, – especially when seen to be in the company of VIP’s…..looks good for the cameras.

    So what happens when a premier empire based on its naval and land forces that has many colonies globally meets with a sophisticated and highly ritualised tribal culture based on conquest and warfare?

    They sit down and drink beer, of course , dont they.

    They bring out the sausies and play bowls on the lawn.

    The smell of fried onions fills the air

    Children scamper past with small dogs frollicking in the balmy sunshine.

    Lolly scrambles in the afternoon when the adults are relaxing after the big feed.

    Ah yes,…..all is well on Planet Key.

  9. The white man brought many ills to bear on global indigenous populations during a time of imperial conquest and expansion. Here in NZ, one facet that I think is often overlooked is the manner in which Hongi Hika was able to use the latest available technologies, coupled with the ability to trade with Europeans, to carve out his own not-so-little fiefdom. After obtaining a number of cheap muskets (the end of the Napoleonic wars made a glut of weaponry available), Hongi Hika set about slaughtering the neighboring Ngati Whatua, taking waka loads of tattooed heads for trade for more muskets, and taking hundreds of slaves to cultivate crops for trade with whalers and sealers in order to buy even more muskets, The end result was a wide swath of vacant land that the remaining Ngati Whatua was happy to sell to the colonists in order to put a white buffer between themselves and the hostile Nga Puhi in the wha north. The story was repeated elsewhere where Nga Puhi set about the genocide of other tribes, slaughtering thousands of maoris up and down the country. All facilitated by the white man.

    • I’m guessing thats sarcasm. Hongis first mass arms acquisition had little to do with a post-Napoleonic gun surplus, they were arms gifted to him by King George from his own arsenal. His raids were old tribal scores being settled in a post-european contact period. By then the “fiefdom” was already well carved out by his predecessors. White people were there to write and convey their view on it. That view gets portrayed as historical account, convenient to validate the NZ ideology that Maori did worse to each other than the colonisers did.

  10. Tweedle Dumb and Dee … from the Southern Antipodes. Will we ever live voting these appallingly ignorant turkeys down; I mean the whole world is laughing and the embarrassment and cringing is monumental.

  11. We can safely assume that John Key’s knowledge of NZ history has been gleaned from the Readers Digest version. NZ’s colonisation by Europeans could be considered peaceful when compared to the Spanish colonisation of Latin and South America or European colonisation of Africa, but only in that way. There was plenty of intentional violence done to NZ’s indigenous population, and also carnage caused by introduction of diseases, poor food, bad laws and environmental destruction. A lot more still needs to be done to right these wrongs and patting yourself on the back and saying “what a good boy am I” does not achieve this.
    Also, do not forget “We are on the cusp of something special……!:” Let me know when this “something special” has been achieved please, Mr Key.

  12. I remember getting the same speil at school at the same time as John Key heard it (at primary school). I thought it obvious the Maori had been ripped off, but didn’t think anything could be done to redress this fact. It really seems that in all this time since John Key has never ever thought about this subject. It seems to have been imprinted on his consciousness as a pre-teen and he has, remarkably, kept the same perspective ever since.

  13. The New Zealand Wars were really The Land Wars; but it is not convenient to call them that for obvious reasons. The Maoris never ceded Sovereignty. The Treaty of Waitangi was in actual fact a Deed Of Contract between the Maoris and Queen Victoria IN HER PERSON; and NOT the British Crown ~ as we were taught in school. And why is this? It is because the five words “……(Queen Victoria) AND HER HEIRS AND SUCCESSORS” are missing from the Preamble of the Treaty. In all countries of the Commonwealth those words are present in all relevant agreements and Treaties between them and the British Crown. Those words are of vital significance in establishing the entity of the Crown. Under contractual law The Treaty as a Deed of Contract ceased to exist on January 22nd 1901, Queen Victoria’s death. People might throw their arms up in shock and horror at this “Oooohhhh Noooo The Treaty,!! The Treaty!!! … we must always have the Treaty of Waitangi as it gives the Maoris certain “rights” and “recognition”” etc etc and on it goes; but it gets better. The Maoris as a Nation were never defeated by the British, nor did they ever surrender. Because of this, they were in fact and still are the lawful original owners of Aotearoa at the time of Queen Victoria’s death as the country returns to them on the death of that Deed of Contract. This is why, today, the Maoris are the sole Lawful owners of Aotearoa. Under International Law the Maoris would have a strong case in claiming full Sovereignty of Aotearoa. I have the full version of the legal argument as presented by an Oxford Constitutional Law Historian if anyone is interested to see it.

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