There is a war being waged on NZ men… at least according to this Facebook page

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Men’s masculinity is under attack in New Zealand and four people, one of whom is a woman (it always stings that little bit more when a woman is pushing anti-feminist ideas), have created a Facebook page to do something about it. Sound your battle cries:

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I don’t know why I was surprised to see this page pop up on my Facebook feed? After all David Cunliffe’s apology for being a man in relation to the epidemic of violence that women face has caused a lot of men (mainly white men) to get pretty upset . Then to add insult to some men’s injuries, the Labour party recently announced it will undertake a monumental shift in how rape cases are reviewed in court if it gets into power. As The Independent reported, “Political party wants to reverse the burden of proof in rape cases if it gets into power, making defendants prove their innocence to reduce the trauma suffered by victims”. Labour’s actions, according to ‘The Labour Party’s War on Men’ Facebook page, are obvious attacks on men’s rights, masculinity, and perhaps even their cocks as the page suggests:

“It’s only a matter of time before a penis tax is proposed by Labour in their war against men.  Let the nutters know men are more than just potential rapists”

O.M.F.G! First of all, I am not even going to bother with the “penis tax” comment for obvious reasons. And secondly, this is the “not all men” argument again, only worded differently. Sneaky! Guess what, fuckknuckles? Men can be raped too! Labour’s law reversal, where the burden of proof would fall on the accused, not the victim, does not just apply to women who have been raped. It protects all rape survivors, making the court process for victims less brutal.

Perhaps this Facebook page was started by four people who think men cannot be raped? NEWSFLASH: it is estimated 15% of adolescent boys will survive sexual assault and as .mic reported, the time of disclosure for male rape survivors is usually 20 years after the assault. This is a long time for millions of men in the world to remain silent about the trauma they have survived. As Martyn Bradbury pointed out this morning in relation to this Facebook page “How insecure in your masculinity must you feel to buy into believing Labour are declaring a war on men?”

Labour’s law reform brings up the murky topic of “consent” – something many people seem to have issues defining or even explaining.  Instead of giving knee jerk reactions to Labour’s law reversal – like the ‘The Labour Party’s War on Men’ Facebook page – we should take this opportunity to discuss issues around sexual consent. After all people seem to be confused by what the word “consent” actually means? David Farrar explains,  

“Think about all the times you have had sex with someone, and how often could you *prove* consent”.

David, when I have sex with my partner we ‘check in’ a couple of times with each other during sex to make sure we are both ok – this does not interrupt sexual intercourse, it lets me know my partner cares about me and my sexual needs and boundaries. This is called sexual consent.  When we first got together we had extensive conversations (also known as ‘mental foreplay’) about what we would like to do with each other sexually. This is called sexual consent. After a year and a half together we still ‘check in’ and make sure we are both comfortable with some of the sexual acts we are performing, even if we have performed these acts before. This is called sexual consent. These conversations also lead to more orgasms because we have become acutely aware of what gets each other off – conversation around consent can be sexy.

If you are too embarrassed to discuss consent and what gets you off sexually with your partner (David Farrar I am looking at you) then you are obviously too immature to be having sex in the first place. So do the world a favour and keep it in your pants.

The main issue commentators and those posting on the facebook page in question, have with Labours proposed law reversal, that will only apply in rape cases, is they believe it is an attack on the presumption of innocence until proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt, it is not.  As the New Zealand Herald stressed, being innocent until proven guilty would, obviously, remain.

New Zealand has one of the lowest conviction rates for rape in the western world, only 1% of all rapes result in a prosecution. Our justice system is failing rape survivors. Labour’s law reform is a monumental step that, if passed, will make the court process for survivors less harrowing and humiliating. Broadcaster Rachel Smalley points out, “If you look at the percentage of sexual violence cases that result in a conviction, it’s pathetic. The system is not working. Something needs to change. Rapists walk free every week.”

To say this law reform is an attack on men’s rights, as the facebook page ‘The Labour’s war on men’ makes claim, is to deny the reality men are survivors of rape to, further silencing their voices.

Here are just some of the *facepalm* comments and posts on ‘The Labour’s War on Men’ Page:

I could not have said it better myself than this response: “Toot if you feel emasculated by men acknowledging this country’s horrendous domestic and sexual violence issues”. Hint: don’t toot unless you want to look like an uneducated jackass.

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A small minority of women do falsify rape claims however, it is estimated to be between only 2-8%. Displayed below is what I, and many feminists friends call “perpetuating rape myths.”

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Feminism is evil and obviously sexist (yes, the poster is a female – women can be anti-feminists too):

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28 COMMENTS

  1. Hi Chloe,

    I found these articles when having a look at the #YesAllWomen tweets on twitter. ( I don’t have twitter but was reading the open public tweets). The thing that striked me the most was – how women speaking up about how they feel, made men feel ‘uncomfortable,’ yet for decades women have been objectified in so many ways ( the most obvious being sexual objectification via advertising, movies, videos etc) and it is completely acceptable and completely normal today.

    I wanted to marry this author and secretly hoped he would come to NZ and be our prime minister 🙂 Best wishes.

    http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2014/05/25/not-all-men-but-still-too-many-men/

    Found after reading this post:
    http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2014/05/27/not_all_men_how_discussing_women_s_issues_gets_derailed.html

    “Each time a woman stands up for herself,without knowing it possibly,wihtout claiming it,she stands up for all women.” Maya Angelou.

  2. What gets under my skin is the sexist propaganda perpetrated by the media with the supposed man ban. It is an equality objective, and considering how many more woman are excelling academically in regards to men it could of just as easily been reported as a woman ban. All the current statistics prove that the talent pool is largely made up of woman. They are more likely to have a university education. They are driven and ambitious yet in society men still hold the top jobs? What is going on here?
    It is the (uninformed) public’s insidious attitude of male superiority which has made necessary an equality objective. There would be no woman in a position of power if these toxic attitudes are allowed to take hold. And they have before over centuries of male-dominated oppression. Try to aim for a more equal political party to reflect our more equal society, and the herald runs a headline of woman dominate Labour Party, a headline they changed due to a social media backlash.
    Most men love powerful woman, and when working together we as men become truly powerful men!

    • @Dan-Man:

      Yes Dan-Man, most men love their mums, and they are so powerful that they even managed to grow them.

  3. #YesAllWomen because the odds of being attacked by a shark are 1 in 3,748,067 while a womens odds of being raped is 1 in 6…. yet fear of sharks is seen as rational while being cautious of men is seen as misandry.

    • Well said! Great example.

      It is entirely rational for women to have a fear of men in todays society.
      Until men stop raping this is how it be.

      • thanks Mistery … found this on the twitter YesAllWomen tweets.. not sure who the creator is but I resonated with it and got it…. lets hope we can bring our daughters and sons up in a better world with a conscience…. cheers

  4. Hey, just wanted to pop in and say thanks for all the the extra page likes your blog has generated for “The Labour Party’s War on Men” Facebook page.

    We appreciate the assistance.

    You’re a gem.

    Kindest regards

    Aaron Goodwin
    Co-admin @ LPWoM

    • I really do not care how many likes you get, nothing will change the fact your a fucking twat who has a deep hatred of woman, and your ignorance around what feminism stands for is pathetic.

    • Grow up, Aaron. Your public display of immaturity, misogyny, etc, does you no credit. You just look like a prize dickhead; someone akin to the “Roastbusters”. And we know how that ended up.

      • @Frank you hit the nail on the head. The misogynistic views expressed on the FB page in question that highlight a deeply ingrained hatred of women are similar if not the same to the views expressed by the men in the roast busters and men like Elliot Rodger’s.

      • I think the issue here is @Frank no one can define exactly what rights are being taken away from men, no one out that FB page can define what this “war on men” is.

    • @ Aaron Goodwin: does your mother know that you’re wasting time with this, when you told her that you’re doing your homework?

  5. “A small minority of women do falsify rape claims however, it is estimated to be between only 2-8%”

    The last study I saw put it at 8% being confirmed as false complaints with another 4% on top of that being ‘suspected’ false complaints. Which gives a total of around 12%. That is a significant figure and one that cannot be minimized.

    With around 1 out of every 8 complaints being false, and no doubt there are even more that aren’t detected and have resulted in innocent men being imprisoned, we have to be extremely careful before reducing the safeguards we currently have in the system which include the ability to cross examine your accuser.

    Something needs to be done, but at what price?

    • @Tamaherejj:

      According to your stats there, (and how are they compiled?) the 2-8% of so-called false claims, leaves 98-92% of real claims, and these real claims deserve a lot more diligence of care than the 2-8% of any perceived false claims.

      And lets not forget that only a small % of rapes ever get reported in the first place – it is much worse than any perceived statistics can ever measure – indeed how can anyone measure in statistics what nobody knows.

      Rape culture doesn’t need to be justified, it just needs to be fixed.

      Opinion.

      • The issue with the fake claims is how many INNOCENT people are we prepared to lock up to ENSURE the guilty are locked up? My argument is that figure should be as close to ZERO as possible. Putting the onus on the person accused of rape to PROVE he is not guilty would ENSURE that some >0 percentage of completely innocent people will be locked up. Am I wrong? And is that right? Collateral damage, perhaps?

  6. Honestly Chloe, your example of sexual consent is fucking ridiculous… pun intended. I would hazard a guess and say that very very few consensual sexual encounters in this country would mirror your description.
    But the question David was asking was- how do you *prove consent*. Sure talking to each other is cool and shit, but how do you prove it? If he decided to lay a complaint, how would you prove that the sex you have with your partner was consensual?

    • True, the ‘proof’ of these conversations would be difficult, but I think a relationship where conversations like this happen, with this level of respect, a complaint is unlikely, surely?

    • Well how do you prove someone raped you? It is merely about shifting the burden of proof.

      And perhaps more peoples sexual experiences need to mirror my own and then less unwanted sexual encounters would fucking happen.

  7. Putting the Facebook stuff in “bloke speak” there are some real dribble dicks and small cocks out there.

    I’m with Cunliffes comments 100%, and they don’t make me sexually insecure in the slightest. As a bloke I don’t like taking it on the chin in the slightest, but if you have to, well you have to. Those guys (and girls) who think they can dismiss the issue raised by Cunliffe on some crappy social media page need to “man” up.

    • Those of us with clean consciences congratulate David on what he said. Those with guilty consciences are the ones tooting at the billboard.

  8. Hi Chloe,

    Love this bit-awesome pro-sex take on consent.

    “..when I have sex with my partner we ‘check in’ a couple of times with each other during sex to make sure we are both ok – this does not interrupt sexual intercourse, it lets me know my partner cares about me and my sexual needs and boundaries. This is called sexual consent. When we first got together we had extensive conversations (also known as ‘mental foreplay’) about what we would like to do with each other sexually. This is called sexual consent. After a year and a half together we still ‘check in’ and make sure we are both comfortable with some of the sexual acts we are performing, even if we have performed these acts before. This is called sexual consent. These conversations also lead to more orgasms because we have become acutely aware of what gets each other off – conversation around consent can be sexy.”

  9. Actually if you look at it most women who make “fake claims” have been raped not necessarily by the person they accuse. It is hard to go to a judgmental police force who do not allow the process that many women need to go through to be able to give evidence. We need to clean up the culture that says a woman is only raped if she fights back and can be proved by physical evidence to fight back. He said she said cases almost always do not end well for women.

    • “Actually if you look at it most women who make “fake claims” have been raped not necessarily by the person they accuse”

      And exactly how many of these ‘fake claims’ have you reviewed in-depth to make such an authoritative claim, dozens? hundreds?

      False complaints are a well documented, researched and established phenomenon, that also result in close to 300 convictions each year. Ask any criminologist or read any study.

      In the CSI age we live in, juries are looking for physical evidence, ‘he said, she said’ cases don’t end well for any victim, particularly when the alleged offender appears respectable and credible in court. Jurors are hung up on DNA and have unrealistic expectations when it comes to forensic evidence.

      The current justice system is based around the presumption of innocence and heavily weighted in the defendants favor across the board, not just in rape cases. The police have to disclose their full case against the accused prior to trial, this includes any rape victims full statement, this enables the defense and accused to manufacture a defense.

      It is what it is, the police have to work with an imperfect system, while being under-resourced and having the specter false or malicious complaints that they also have to sort through.

  10. It would be far more truthful to have a poster saying: Toot your horn if you are an ignorant neanderthal thug who thinks all men should argue any point with their knuckles.

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