The speech Cunliffe should make after Queens Birthday ABC social media revolt (warning: contains traces of satire)



“When the membership and affiliates moved to make the Labour Party more democratic, it should have been a signal to MPs that our Party had entered an era where the members and affiliates wishes and values were paramount.

The members and affiliates have supported my leadership of the Labour Party, and as leader of the Labour Party I will decide what deals a Labour led Government will establish and which ones it won’t based on what is best for all New Zealanders, and I swear Trevor if I have to come back there, it won’t be the speaker’s job you get, it’ll be an Ambassadorship in Palestine for you champ.

I’m David Fucking Cunliffe, and I’ve put up with just about enough of this bullshit. I was elected the Leader, not you pasty faced milk bottles. Zip it Chippy, you’re lucky I’ve let you back in the tent at all, you’ve got Education only because you look like a 12 year old.

Phil, is there some paper work floating around showing you might have also green lighted drone strikes you Yanky loving quisling?  I don’t care what you think. Shut up. When I need you to dial Washington for me I’ll give you a call. By the way, I’m not signing the TPPA either so enough of the back chat.

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David Shearer, you’re the Labour Party’s answer to Fozzy Bear, and unlike you, I don’t kick people when they’re down, but pack your bags, you’ll be overseas for sometime chief.

I’m David Fucking Cunliffe, I’m going to take John Key on while humming ‘Momma said knock you out”…

…so I have no problem chewing up and spitting out chumps before breakfast. I fart thunderbolts and shit egalitarianism. Put up or you shut up.

I’m out.”

*Mike Drop*


  1. I really hope DC(or someone from his office) reads this blog…. so he can get a feel for how important it is to our country that he can deal with these bully boy tactics from the neo-liberal labour f**k wits/muppets.

  2. Geez’ I thought I had mistakenly been directed to Ben Uffindell’s page. But needed MB.

    A fractured and divided left, is a right-wing win on the 20th Sept…..

    I’ve already seen ACT Trolls and shitstirrers driving wedges into Labour. Even Trotter in the Press is giving the kiss of life to the ABC club malcontents.

    Let’s put some Popeye Spinach into the tanks of the ABK club (Anyone But Key).

    Get a meeting PRONTO between Cunliffe, Harre, Harawira, Norman, Turei and Peters. Do it at the Dotcom Mansion, not TVOne offices. Have the place swept for GCSB bugs and listening devices beforehand and let’s mobilise a left-wing united front. McCarten and Harre can jointly chair the meeting.

    Agenda item 1 ABK
    Agenda item 2 Getting the left to all fight for social justice.
    Agenda item 3 Getting the left to all fight against, and reversing the effects of, neoliberal monetary policy.
    Agenda item 3 Getting the left to unite
    Agenda item 4 ABK

    United we stand, divided we fall.

  3. The longer he goes without doing anything remotely similar to this, the more I think he agrees with them on all the substantive issues. The observed facts point to this conclusion – anything else may just be wishful thinking.

  4. There’s as much chance of Cunliffe saying that, as there is of the left winning the election. ie nada, none, zip.

  5. I wouldn’t be so sad if it wasn’t so close to reality. Key is off buying votes in the Pacific and Trev, Phil and their mates are pulling David’s pigtails, he needs to get a grip and take the initiative.

  6. Ha ha, Kim.Com seems like Mike Drop, it’s like a war everyone to the battle stations behind the mike. It would be funny if they had to do a rap off like in the movie 8 Mile (Eminem). I think a few Eminem songs would be great in this situation/battle eg Cleanin Out My Closet (cabinet)? And Lose Yourself. It’s all good.

  7. Excellent! Bring on Angry (on behalf of decent NZ’ers), Combative, call the bastards for what they are DC! And stick it to the MSM – call them the joke that they are…

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