The sadness & anger of Roast Busters

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I’m not entirely sure what I can say about the Roast Busters that probably hasn’t already been said. But I feel inclined to get all my anger and sadness off my chest.

This situation has got under my skin to the point where every time I think about it, I feel sick to my stomach. Thats not just because it happened and that there are people out there, in our very community who have it in their heads that this is ok, but because it was allowed to continue by people who are supposed to protect us. It says something when mainstream journalists do a better job at reporting the facts of whats going on in our country than the police do at protecting the people. It also says something when young girls don’t even bother approaching them.

Me and my naivety never thought that corruption to this degree existed in our country, but I’ve been proven wrong. Thankfully, I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve needed to call on the police. Being in a wheelchair though, my safety is often compromised, I would argue more so than an able-bodied person. But I always felt safe in the knowledge that they will be there for me should I need them. I hope this sense of safety can return one day soon because its mentalities and behaviour such as this that perpetuates the male-dominated culture in various aspects of our society, including the work force. And I can’t even believe that this fact needs to be said in an idiot-proof way for people to actually understand that we’re stuck in a time warp when it comes to the safety of young women.

In saying that though, I hope this counts as proof that the feminism movement has a long way to go. Especially when there are people on Radio Live! trying to convey the message to the masses that victim blaming is the way to go. Unlike old and out-of-touch men like them, these kids were quite young, which is all the more disturbing since they have gone through the school system recently. Clearly there needs to be serious conversations in the classrooms about consent. From memory, I think we got that talk once, maybe twice. It seems like this isn’t enough, especially when we’re trying to get rid of a long-standing patriarchal mentality that is almost centred on double standards between men and women when it comes to ‘appropriate behaviour’.

One thing that gives me hope is the backlash and horrified response towards police inaction. They will never stop people from speaking the truth, no matter how much they try. However I have to say its just ridiculous that its taken a horrific incident such as this for New Zealanders to open their eyes to the fact that misogyny is out of control in this country and that people are starting to lose faith in the patriarchal system, which needed to go a long time ago anyway.

In any case, I don’t want to have to watch my back every time I leave the house and I don’t want to be ashamed of wanting to have a good time when I go out. I don’t think I’m asking for much and I can’t believe that we have to demand the right to be safe.

2 COMMENTS

  1. HI there, I couldn’t help but respond to your post. I’d like to give a bit of my background before I give you my response.

    I am the father to beautiful 14 year old identical twin daughters, three beautiful step daughters and one son.

    I do alot of work for the disabled community in New Zealand. I’m Irish :-).

    Heres my honest opinion.

    The focus on the police is a smoke screen. New Zealand has a fantastic police force AND in this instance their hands are tied. Lets focus on the real criminals here.

    You mention a patriarchal system. I believe these depraved excuses for men are missing a patriarch role model. They are not men, but merely narcissistic want to be men. Let me explain.

    Real men went to war to fight for their women and children, their country and their people. They wrote letters of love to their women when they were fighting the enemy. They respected their grandmothers, mothers, sisters and daughters. They loved their girlfriends and worshipped the ground they walked upon. This is the realm of real men.

    Now to these chimpanzees(in fact thats an insult to a beautiful species).

    They have NO RESPECT. Not for their grandmothers, mothers, sisters, or women in general. They don’t have daughters yet, and they should not be allowed to have daughters, or children for that matter.

    They believe they are above the law and that they can do what they like without consequence, therefore thats what they’ve done. Now they’re running, ducking a diving and trying to find any slippery way out of what they’ve done, including have friends post on the dreaded FB that they are nice guys.

    The talk is about they should not be confronted by vigil ante’s. Well I ask why not?

    The judicial system will not give them the correct punitive response, they know that! The police force are paralysed due to bureaucratic laws. In these circumstances what can be done?

    The answer is simple, just ask REAL MEN for the answer. The fathers and brothers of sisters and girls who they love. Give them half an hour with these shitbags and let them dish out some consequences that they will understand and that will make them understand that their actions are unacceptable and cannot be repeated at all costs! Do it the old way…

    If this happens then you will be able to go out without worrying, you will be safe, and you will not be exposed to these lowlife narcissistic excuses for males(not men).

    Real men will open the door for you, talk to you nicely and protect you.(just an example).

    Thats my expectations for my daughters and step daughters, and if they were ever touched by one these chimpanzees, then I would end up being on the wrong side of the law after dealing with these excrements…I wish you well, and look forward to your response…CW

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