A Desperate Sensation to Throw Up


JohnKey_460x231There he was striding through the streets of Manhattan, entouraged, en route to his first US engagement, when all of a sudden the PM turned white as a ghost and had to run into a nearby pub. After a brief ‘pitstop’, normal transmission was resumed : “I don’t know whether I ate something or whatever, but it was short and sharp.” The PM has had a bit of rich food of late. Paris is famous for its cuisine and I’m sure Queenie is no slouch when it comes to serving her house-guests at Balmoral. All this plus the air travel could well explain his ‘ “desperate sensation to throw up” when he was talking to the media about 10 minutes before he ran into trouble on the footpath.’

Or perhaps he had just caught an early whiff of the latest Herald- DigiPoll result. The headline was stomach-churning enough: ‘Labour Rockets in Poll’. For the PM, honest broker that he is, in NYC to win friends and influence people’s vote on our Security Council bid, the news was bad:  “Labour’s support has jumped under new leader David Cunliffe to the extent that he could form a coalition government and become Prime Minister, if today’s Herald-DigiPoll survey figures were translated to an election result.” But wait, there was worse to come: “The poll also shows a marked dive in the popularity of John Key, to the lowest level since he became Prime Minister.”

The PM will be hoping this, like his tummy attack, is something short and sharp: an anomaly fuelled by the public’s passing fancy with Labour’s new man at the top and new line up. But there is always that queasy possibility that a trend is emerging. Doug Armstrong wrestled gingerly with the delicate subject : “What might be happening is that the wear and tear on National’s reputation from various earlier debilitating sideshows and botch-ups is finally showing in the polls. Voters’ attitudes as to how they will cast their vote are slow to change – more so with a Government as pragmatic and unwilling to risk frightening the punters as the current one.” Ahem. Wear and tear? Various earlier debilitating sideshows and botch-ups? Unwilling to risk frightening the punters?! It doesn’t seem that long ago that the PM was alerting us all (via the More FM Breakfast Show) that al-Qaeda was amongst us.

Aside from the debilitating sideshows and botch-ups, it’s National’s main bill, that poses the real problem. Its central economic platforms (asset sales, mineral exportation / exploitation and a Casino Convention Centre) have all passed with a negligible mandate. National fails to grasp how many households struggle to pay the power bill. In spite of strong opposition and a citizen’s initiated referendum, it presses on with the sale of Meridian Energy. To make it happen, it has to write out a $30m cheque to Rio Tinto and sweeten the deal with a share installment offer. And if the Mighty River sale is anything to go by, only a tiny percentage of the population will have the readies to participate.

In the House, Russel Norman questioned the fairness of it all, interrogating SOE Minister Tony Ryall : “Can he think of a more extreme case of a Government that favours the rich and the powerful over everybody else than the example of giving interest-free loans to offshore investment banks so that they can purchase shares in what is currently a company owned by the people of New Zealand?”  Winston paraphrased Sir Winston: “Never has so much been stolen from so many for the benefit of so few sleazy crony mates.”

Has the current Government reached a “tipping-point”? David Cunnliffe thinks so and with good reason. After a while, the chorus cries of corruption, cronyism and corporate welfare begin to stick, a narrative not helped by allegations of more skullduggery by that stale, pale, male Nick Smith muscling over the Ministry of Conservation. Every day, the country gets closer to an election and National is in dire need of viable coalition partners and vote-winning policies. For the first time, it faces an articulate Opposition, a credible Government-in-Waiting and the numbers are beginning to show it.

There was no solace to be had on the international stage beyond a series of Woman’s Weekly photo-ops with Her Majesty. In slow motion, the country watched the America’s Cup slip from its grasp. No feel-good photo-ops to be had there . To rub salt into the wound, Kim Dotcom offered to help out with another challenge. Even in his self-admittedly ‘shoe-string’ efforts to promote New Zealand’s Security Council bid, the PM was sabotaged. One could argue whether a stinging attack was the best tactic to secure a seat in the first place. To deliver such an attack “minutes before news came that the United States and Russia had agreed on a resolution to require Syria to hand over its chemical weapons” was indeed ” rather bad timing for Mr Key, who used very strong language to castigate the five permanent members of the Security Council for failing to achieve exactly that”. Dubbing him the antipodean mouse that roared, the Herald drily noted that “the closest John Key could get to being seen as anywhere near as important was if somebody confused his name with that of John Kerry.”

I’d hazard a guess the PM might be getting that desperate sensation again.

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  1. Well said Simon.

    One could say our Johnnie boy has had a rather bad time of it gallivanting around overseas, trying to impress international movers and shakers. Let’s not forget too, he also failed to resolve the Kiwi OE visa issue, as well as bombing out getting a FTA with the EU. Now no America’s Cup for him to parade up and down the country with. And just when Johnnie thought things couldn’t get any worse, Labour is starting to shine, with Cunliffe coming through as a credible alternative to himself!

    Then there’s the thought of the debates with Cunliffe next year, leading up to the election, which wee Johnnie is likely to lose. No three term tenure as PM knighthood forthcoming!

    Oh dear, what a shame, never mind! Enough to make a fella barf! Oh wait …

    • How dare you suggest that Mr Key would have been parading up and down the country with the Americas Cup had it been won. Do you really, honestly think that would have been the case?
      The suggestion reminds me though that for some bizarre reason those who would have credited Key with winning the cup have not loudly proclaimed Helen Clark the reason ETNZ didn’t win it. Hell, the tide must be turning.

  2. My instinct tells me to be more than a little worried for the next few months . IF and I say ‘ if ‘ jonky is vomiting from anxiety and IF his anxiety is work related then the Truth must be getting closer to spilling it’s guts . This is more than a simple political trouncing in the polls .

    If the Truth is leaking out , what might we expect of the cornered rat ? A bought of puking is the least of it . When the origins of the wealth of the terminally greedy is placed under the microscope they will stop at nothing to protect their interests , their colleagues , their power and of course , their ( Our ) money .

    If jonky’s placed under too close a scrutiny and the truth starts pouring out I reckon he’d stop at nothing . I wouldn’t be surprised if he and his cronies didn’t have a go at crashing our economy for example just to hand a shit fight on to Cunliffe . ( I’m reminded of the 380 million tax payer BNZ bailout of the 1990’s . A mess handed to jimbo bolger by the then tainted Labour party . And has the BNZ paid us back yet ? And , while I personally bore easily with links , this is an interesting one . Not too long either http://www.siliconinvestor.com/readmsg.aspx?msgid=28279688 ) Jonky had no qualms about pillaging our economy for his 50 plus million dollars . He had no concern for the fact that he stood by as his rich friends bloated themselves on funds directed to them by him and his ilk to put in their pockets , not into the public purse . If he’s prepared to steal the food out of the mouths of 270 K children , stands by as 1000 k Kiwis a week are forced to move to Australia and gleefully encourages off-shore investors to buy and own our resources then he’s capable of anything is he not ?

    And what about the Auckland ‘ housing crises ‘ . More a mass mental illness . If he’s not lining his pockets from that insanity in some devious , fancy banker way I’ll eat my hat .

    The smiling assassin . I bet you’re not so confident now are you , you little shit ?

    Good Post Simon Prast . Thanks .

    • If Key crashes the economy (or even if he doesn’t, and it crashes all by itself) HE OWNS it. And nothing gets leaders sacked faster than a failed economy (losing your job tends to make voters very angry). I personally believe he’ll in fact do the exact opposite – run unprecedented budget deficits like there is no tomorrow (which indeed this would make more likely) and try to BUY the election. Hopefully the NZ public won’t fall for more of his neoliberal bullshit (e.g. tax cuts), but it wouldn’t surprise me if it did.

      • The problem for Key in that scenario is that he’s promised a surplus, albeit a very thin one, for 2014/15 and has reminded us all about how we’re on track for that.

      • I thought he’d done the unprecedented budget deficit move already when he bought the last election with his tax cuts for the rich.

      • @ Nitrium – you state “If Key crashes the economy (or even if he doesn’t, and it crashes all by itself) HE OWNS it”.

        Too damn right he does, but he won’t claim responsibility for it though. Instead he will blame the previous Labour government, as he normally does, when things begin get tough for him! Spineless, slimy, toad he is!

  3. Why would National start to panic when it was expected that Labour would have a poll bounce as a result of the leadership change and associated publicity?

    The election is still about a year away. It is unlikely for National to start worrying until after the next budget.

  4. Try this one: Someone asked Key to make their speech at the UN in exchange for — uh, what would you like, John? — uh, a cosy visit with the Queen? With photos? Cheesy. I wonder what bit of biological extras he got in his last snack as a farewell someplace?

  5. Another point to add. The picture of John Key accompanying Simon’s blog. A selfie maybe, but take a good look at it. The personification of pure evil, revealing something quite dark and ominous behind the PR fabricated image! And this is our PM!

    • A little bit of perspective wouldn’t go amiss with people on the left sometimes. It is funny to see though as it makes you look unhinged.

  6. I think you are in the wrong place Gosman. Try Farrars blog. If you must, please make informed comments.Life is too short for some.

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