TV REVIEW: Duncan Garner forces me to watch Breakfast TVNZ

By   /   March 14, 2017  /   13 Comments

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I can’t believe I’m going to say this but next week Breakfast TVNZ have my eyeballs, because my ears can’t stand being punished by Duncan’s ignorance any longer.

Duncan Garner – a poor mans Paul Henry with all the intellectual heft of a Chicken McNugget. 

I am honestly aghast at how stupid Duncan Garner is.

I haven’t ever really spent any period of time watching or listening to Duncan, but now he’s on The AM Show, I catch him daily and I’m always disappointed by what comes out of his mouth.

And I really mean that.

He will say something while I’m in the middle of doing something else and it will actually make me pause and shake my head in disbelief by the poorly thought out something he says.

Today he was championing National because they have 50 000 fewer solo parents on benefits. At no point did it occur to Duncan that National have spent the last decade creating new reasons to disqualify solo parents and dump as many as they can off welfare.

But here’s Duncan championing National’s draconian welfare reforms.

Ok Duncs, where are they mate?

Where are the 50 000 solo parents who are no longer on welfare?

Where are they Duncs?


Duncs won’t know and neither does the fucking Government. That’s right folks, Paula Bennett can not tell anyone of us where these former welfare beneficiaries have gone because they don’t record that, and they don’t record that because it would highlight National’s punitive focus of throwing people off welfare first and asking questions second.

Can everyone remember as far back as 2 weeks? I appreciate that’s a stretch for most of the TV3 viewing audience who struggle to keep up with the plot twists and turns of The Batchelor, but you’ll remember that Bill English was explaining that all these homeless people turning up at motels was because the policy was ‘flushing out’  invisible  beneficiaries the Government didn’t know anything about, and why were these beneficiaries invisible? Because the poor do everything humanly possible to avoid having to do anything with the neoliberal welfare state for fear of being punished by those neoliberal welfare state agencies.

These beneficiaries haven’t gone into work and stable well paid jobs, these people have been thrown off welfare onto the scrapheap and are now too frightened of getting in touch with any welfare agency and National calls that a success.

And apparently so does Duncs.

This mindless ill thought out bullshit might be some people’s idea of news in the morning, but it sure as fuck isn’t mine.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this but next week Breakfast TVNZ have my eyeballs, because my ears can’t stand being punished by Duncan’s ignorance any longer.


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  1. chris says:

    well said. I thought it was only me.

  2. Priss says:

    God almighty, I thought Garner was bad enough, but since I stopped watching TV3 has he really become THAT IGNORANT??

    He never impressed me much in the first place. The man is an intellectual light-weight.

    No wonder TV3 got rid of John Campbell. Garner is to the masses what pornography is to serial masterbators.

  3. Mike in Auckland says:

    Duncan Garner is a shallow man, also one who changes his views like the wind may change direction, he is a talker, a sensation hunter and headline phrase creator, nothing more. He is a product of the commercial media that got into broadcasting in the 1980s. Yes, he started with TVNZ, I know, but soon adapted to the new style of “reporting” the private media created.

    His not so intelligent comments are often based on little than anecdotal stuff, same as Trump bases his comments on. So Dunc may appeal to some, but he does not sound and look like one who bothers reading too much in the way of scientific, economic and social reports on whatever topic. He also likes going out having a good time, and that includes swinging a few beers.

    Perhaps he and his consorts may learn a bit about WINZ, MSD, sole parents and sick and disabled being sent to “outsourced providers”, by reading the following. Those contracted providers do by the way not fall under the scope of the OIA. At least a bit of time back, MSD made this available, which has been critically reviewed:

  4. CLEANGREEN says:

    Yes Martyn,

    Duncan has sunk to a new low and he actually looks haggard with guilt he spins.

    We should increase our bi-monthly contribution to you for taking the pain we are spared from by having you monitor our bullshit local media as we can then switch to RT or BBC or Fox to get an idea what actual media is really like today when our media is just a grease pole for this evil Nactional administration.

    Meantime Martyn try switching to red seal Chamomile tea to settle down your nerves.

  5. Grant says:

    Garner is a cross between a bovver boy, a used car sales man and a real estate agent.
    The corners of his mouth tells you a lot. The constant twitching up and down tells you that he is a liar , a bully , and a blaggard …a boof head with an overblown ego who has no idea who he really is or what he believes in .
    I almost feel sorry for him. (But i don’t) .
    However, it must be hard being an intellectual wasteland.

  6. Garry Brittenden says:

    Rather than frothing at the mouth why don’t you just listen to National Radio-far better for your health and sanity!

    • Siobhan says:

      Susie and Guyon??
      Between Guyons endless nasal ‘y e a h h h’ and Susies miserable belligerence and love of disaster, not to mention their propensity for giving National a free ride in interviews…..many is the time I’ve hastily munched down my muesli in a blind rage…..

  7. MEM says:

    Ironically the best person I have seen for a while on AM was Roydon …Don’t know what you have got until you loose it ..
    But I do find AM talks about issues as if the people working there are representative f the community .. They are not ….. Mark implied the other day that he earns over $200000, and his contribution to the water crisis was to put the cover on his pool .. Witty as he may be people in public jobs should lead in a crisis ..

  8. Oy Vey - Ka pai says:

    I too walk around with a dispairing shake of the head whenever I catch even a wiff of garner tv3 in general not to mention hoskin and etc etc. I get all my news and current affairs from carefully selected international sources and have been a pig in clover since I now only ever listen to JCs checkpoint for local stuff. Why are the standards of broadcasters sinking to such low levels?

  9. […] see the exact same rhetoric used and repeated by lazy mainstream media when it comes to beneficiary stats. The Government trumpet that they’ve moved 50 000 off solo […]

  10. mosa says:

    Martyn you cant be really surprised at Duncan Garner, he is just another mouthpiece for the current government, talking to an audience that is just as brain dead and bigoted as he is.

    I stopped listening to him when he made it his mission in the last term of the Labour government to put the boot in and raving about things that he was way of his depth about , a complete clown and not someone who you could depend on to educate you in the time you spent listening to his diatribe.

    Its amazing for such a small island nation that we have so many of these people who (if you let them ) shove their right wing take on everything down your throat as if its factual.

    There is no room for anyone who thinks and forms their own opinions that does not fit with the status quo, they actually believe their own spin.

    I saw the light and only listen to RNZ in the mornings so that as my wife puts it ” does not anger up the blood “

  11. So what, Gosman. You’ve never seen the bottom of the Mariannas Trench – but it’s still there.

    I suspect you’d turn a blind eye to any case that was put in front of you.