With Peter Jackson’s history, will remaking ‘The NeverEnding Story’ become a 7 hour trilogy?

By
Martyn Bradbury
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9
47

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After the shlock of The Hobbit and the never ending Lord of the Rings, I’m not sure we want Peter Jackson remaking a movie called ‘The NeverEnding Story‘. What is a beloved story of a boy called Bastian missing his dead  mother and being bullied into a fantasy kingdom of Fantasia could spiral into a dreary 7 hour trilogy that sucks the very joy out of life.

Can we get 3 simple promises here?

1: Peter signs a contract promising not to go over 90 minutes

2: Keep it all in bloody Wellington

3: Can the Government this time not re-write employment law to declare all actors hobbits and as such only get half the fee of a full grown human?

 

*Some have thought this is a real announcement – I must confess to having my tongue firmly in cheek

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9 COMMENTS

  2. 4. Can he not make all us New Zealanders citizens of this imaginary land without a binding referendum first

  3. No way! That has to be a joke right? He will turn it into a three ring circus that leaves your brain hurting. All I can think of when I hear of Peter Jackson is the dragon on a pile of cash, the dragon is him in his private jet.
    Well if he does The NeverEnding Story he better think really really hard about what the Nothingness really means!

  4. I just don’t see how it needed to be remade in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with the original imo. I guess remaking Labyrinth is next, so some arsehole studio execs can shit all over David Bowie just because they can.

    • I just don’t see how it needed to be remade in the first place. – See more at

      We’re talking about a guy who wanted to remake King Kong, (already filmed in 1933 and 1976).

      He’s not into original thought.

  5. Peter Jackson has said that he isn’t interested in directing films any more as the challange “is just not there anymore.” But do not fret as he is taking on a new and bigger challenging. Sources close to the PM Key have said that the “real reason we got a seat on the UN Security Council was so that Sir Pete could get a good crack at directing a land war some where.”

    It is understood that General Jackson is casting for people that look Syrian.

  6. The office of Peter Jackson have cast doubts on his involvement in the Never Ending Story movie saying “that his interest in directing films is waning. He’s done the biggest and the best and so now is looking for other opportunities.”

    A source close to the PM said “the real reason behind us wanting a seat on the UN Security Council was to make sure that Pete would get a good crack at directing a land war somewhere.”

    In unrelated news Sir Pete is dusting off his collection of military memorabilia and has made a casting call “seeking people who
    1. look Syrian, or
    2. speak Arabic, or
    3. have abnormally large and hairy feet.

  7. King Kong was his best epic – why he thought he could improve on Tolkien’s masterwork is hard to fathom. LOTR was not improved by dwarf jokes but the Hobbit was the pits. The dwarves had been fighting dragons for millenia – they wouldn’t do a molten gold trap.

    I imagine Hollywood sees The Neverending story as ‘safe’. But there’s no splatter – Jackson should do Flaubert’s Salambo. Or Druillet’s.

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