When I first read about the St Cuthberts schoolgirl stripping incident I was absolutely appalled. I wanted to write a blog straight away, but decided to hold off for a few days, as I wanted to know more about the situation, rather than make assumptions about what happened and why.
Now we know more, let’s discuss.
Firstly, I think the most important thing to say right now is that bullying, trolling and abusing the girls involved is despicable, disgusting, and if you’re reading this, schoolmates, ‘friends’ and fellow teens, I cannot emphasise strongly enough – stop, back off and get a life. Because, as the Herald article states, they are very very fragile. You might think it’s funny to run the girls down, but online and text bullying results in suicide too often, especially with teenagers. Your (to you) hilarious put down isn’t going to be so funny if there’s a funeral – and while the anti-bullying legislation before Parliament at the moment isn’t perfect – you need to understand that what you’re doing will soon be a crime, whether it’s this bill or a better one. It’s not ok. End of story.
Whether it’s a private or public school, that costs $500 or $20,000, whether the girls families are rich or poor means absolutely nothing to me. Teen girls are teen girls, teachers are teachers, coaches are coaches. So I’m not going to follow down the ‘it’s an expensive private school – that makes it even worse’ line. What happened here could have happened to any school’s team.
So what on earth went so wrong?
I went to an all girls high school. And wow did students come up with some ill-considered teenage ideas. But that’s what our teachers, coaches and parent supervisors were there for. To sniff out such plots, terminate them, give us a good lecture and most importantly – be a good example and guiding hand to us themselves. Initiations? Yes, we had informal initiation giggles (and April Fools, and end-of year giggles), but on school grounds, safe, supervised and (mostly) in good humour – hiding each other’s bags, taking on each other’s identities to confuse relief teachers, gladwrapping of teachers doors and the toilets, toilet papering of teachers cars etc. But nothing – NOTHING like this.
A “St Cuthbert student” has come forward to Fairfax saying that the girls came up with the idea . Ok, but the adults should have intervened, end of story. Sure, why not, go for it is the last thing any intelligent adult working with children – and teens are still children – should have said.
I think this is a perfect storm of stupidity on the part of the supervising adults. They both collectively and individually could and should have said hell, no. Groupthink was at play here. A combination of personalities that meshed together with a team of girls that ended up in adults who should have known far, far better than let things get this out of hand. Who got so into the game they forgot sensibility. Who by the sounds of things are kicking themselves now, big time.
As well they should. This never should have happened, and I hope what comes out of it is a clearer understanding for schools of what their auxiliary staff and chaperones need to be crystal clear on. Which is being able to control a situation, set clear boundaries and enforce them.
Possibly the silliest “great idea” to happen that never should have since Prince Harry wore a Nazi outfit.
However, I think it was petty for the school to fire the coach when he had already offered his resignation. It was like they wanted to paste as much of the blame on him as they could and show how righteous they are. The principal etc just look like a bunch of pretentious toffs with that action, trying to preserve the market value of their school.
Reminds me of how they immediately sacked the driver of the train whose brakes failed at the Melling Station in Wellington because he had traces of marijuana in his blood. This had nothing to do with the crash and he may actually have saved lives. But they had to attack the easiest target they could so they could be seen to be doing something while they still haven’t figured out what actually caused the brakes to fail although is likely to do with choosing crap trains from overseas instead of building them here. Which actually makes people much higher up calpable but I dont’ expect they will be losing their jobs, while the train driver’s life has been wrecked by their poor decision.
On a wider scale it is fascinating that the childish pranks of yesteryear really were childish pranks. The St Cuths girls weren’t engaging in anything like that – they were highly sexualised – Toot for a Strip is a variation of the perrenial bride-to-be stunt of Toot for a Root. At least they had the good sense to self edit on that score.
What it all suggests to me is that there is a culture at the school – or a sub culture – that lacks boundaries – probably from indifferent parenting ‘here take this money and amuse yourself’.
It probably wasn’t really any different in some rose spectacled past, just an updated St Trinians, with easy access to booze, drugs and porn.
There is also the issue of assuming that the girls who go to an exclusive school were better than those who go to a community college – so their fall from grace is of greater concern. Or, that these girls, as you point out, are anything more or less than kids – regardless of their paternity. But it’s complicated. Kids aren’t just kids as anyone who has read/watched Lord of the Flies or been anywhere the Britomart between Wednesday and Tuesday nights can attest.
Hypocrisy anyone! Another example of our culture of disposability.
All sounds like much ado about nothing. A bunch of kids in bikini’s sharing a not well thought through prank. Tell them off and take away their privileges. Oh but that would be too simple. No lets make a media circus out of it because reporting on real problems is not our thing.
I do get sick and tired of the over weening political correctness which has crept into the media and is really a very intentional distraction from more serious issues.
I cannot in any way shape or form understand why this was not stopped well before it got to the stage it did. Any adult in that situation should have stepped in as soon as they got wind of it…. sure the girls may have called them silly old farts, or boring old gits, or any manner of names using the word ‘old’, but thats irrelevant… it should never have been allowed to happen or even come close to happening…..
I teach in a high school….& i just cant fathom what the adults in that situation must have been thinking…. but I can bet that the girl who stripped, at some stage, would have been secretly wanting an adult to say STOP.
You should read the link to the stuff story that Racheal included in her story. The girl points out the coach(adult) was inside the shop and put a immediate stop when he realised what was going on. The student impressed on the reporter he never knew what was going on until it happened.
The adult did do somthing when they got wind of it, but it was too late.
Non-school eye-witnesses say something different. The girls do have some self-interest here – their actions got their coach fired so they may be looking to alleviate some guilt by minimising their coaches actions and perhaps getting him reinstated as their coach.
Self interest would predicate them to staying silent and allowing the Coach to take all the blame, i.e. it also would allow them to avoid being accused of having agency in “slutty” (which is why the girls are being bullied now) behaviour in public: scary adult figure forced me into it, as opposed to the peer group, which would include the girl claiming that they did it without the adults consent or knowledge.
Having been a teenager I’m pretty sure in my memory that all the naughty things we did were carried out with the implicit understanding that the adult’s/teachers were not informed. Having the teachers forewarned that students were cutting class, smoking in school grounds, having fruit fights in the adjoining orchard, ect ect would tend to interfere with the successful conculsion of naughty activities.
[i]”They were all 14, 15, if they were older I would be very surprised. As a parent, those parents of those girls would not have signed a waiver to say those girls can go to Rotorua to strip in the streets, it just not acceptable.” she said.[/i]
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/10460411/High-School-coach-investigated-following-stripping-incident
verses
[i]”That wasn’t the coach, he was in the store. It was a member of the public. And the girl was 16.”[/i]
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/10468363/Pupils-take-the-blame-for-stripping-prank
So uninformed member of the public verses a girl who actually knows what her coach looks like.
Does it not strike any one else as surreal that we have a story this week with a Women streaking (fully naked) at a all blacks match and no one jumps on concepts or words like “hyper sexualised”.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/hawkes-bay-today/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503462&objectid=11321158
But by just adding clothing like swim wear, mesh stocking as a collar, girls are being bullied (presumably slut shamed) and people are being fired as everyone at the school impresses on everyone else how puritan they are to a much greater extent.
Also would the same reaction or moral panic have spiked up if it was a boy’s school with a boy in swim wear(or middle class school boy idea of what constitutes male stripper wear)?
I am not thrilled by the streakers. I believe exhibitionism is a psychological problem and needs to be seen as such. Alternatively it might be that people get very drunk and dis-inhibited run naked onto the pitch and for me that’s more a call about how ghastly drunkeness can be.
Re your comment about a boy and stripping. Two things I have a 16 year old son and I would be mortified if he had been with his gang of friends and egged on to do the toot for a strip. Secondly we need to see the girl doing this in the context of the sexualisation of young women and girls. Us women aren’t there to be sexual objects for men. Many of us are quite sick of it and to see a young girl “encouraged” into it is truly sickening.
Yes Rachael, like you, I was absolutely appalled too – appalled that this bunch of “innocent young girls’ conspired to plan, provide for, and execute this “silly prank” (coach’s words).
It is not normal – in my day anyway – to pack bondage equipment and slutty clothing on a school rugby trip. Nor is it normal to strip off, dress up in said gear and go harass the traffic.
That they did this is no particular concern to me – we’ve all done mad things in our life and I kinda smiled at their audacity and bravado – the rites of passage. Daring the oldies is an age old practice of the young – and if you don’t get caught you rise up the rankings of your peers – get caught and you do the time.
Appalled? YES – appalled that the consequences, responsibility and accountability were completely removed from these girls by their whimpy coach, school, many of the bloggers on this thread and yourself Rachael.
The coach was sacked, not even given the option of resigning (and I presume he has his own family to provide for?) – the school has been blamed for allowing a culture such as this to develop within its hallowed walls and you and your bloggers are beating yourselves up – amazing!
Further – imagine the “consequences” of trying to stop such a determined group from executing their desires. Kids, and girl kids in particular, have all their rights well thought out. Trying to halt something like this is likely to land the coach with a harassment or abuse charge.
Get real ….
I don’t agree with that at all, in this situation the coach and support staff had full rights and responsibilities to call the thing to a halt, but didn’t, the girls would not have backlashed against them in the way you suggest.
As far as ‘packing’ that stuff goes – no. Swimwear would have been packed, and ‘extras’ for the initiation, I’m pretty certain, would have been obtained by a quick run into the nearest discount store, where you can get fishnets, handcuffs, silly hats etc for a couple of dollars.
For me the there are a number of things that are disturbing about this.
1. If the coach or any of the adults supervising knew about it and didn’t stop it, that is horrific. They may not have. I don’t know, but if they did they need to really be held very accountable as they have normalized and colluded with something that is very sick.
2. School girl pranks???? I went to high school in the early 70’s. It is just unthinkable that anything like this would have happened at our school (and it didn’t). Why? Because we were great sophisticated kids. hell no. Because we were protected from the sexualized misogynist images that very young girls are exposed to today. As a society we need to stop being so bloody liberal and ask ourselves where we have gone wrong (and I expect to have people hurl abuse at me for this statement, calling me a prude etc, but frankly I don’t care.
3. I am making an assumption here and I don’t want to say anything about the parents of the girls involved her. But what I do note is a general trend of permissive parenting. Adults treating their young children as their friends. Not setting proper boundaries.
4. Finally I am mindful that the girls involved are feeling fragile. Yet what does this tell us about the culture that is developing for our young people’s (re their ability to empathize and look out for others, rather than see them humiliated. And group think???)
If the coach et el did know then I can’t think of a better reason to ban charter schools.
I’ve been on picket lines in which we held signs asking drivers to “toot to support”. When I saw a young girl had been holding a sign stating “toot for strip” I seriously felt ill.
Of course the girls shouldn’t be bullied over it, they’re just kids who clearly saw it as nothing more than a prank.
After all, the girl doing the strip probably wears something similar on the beach. But this wasn’t the beach, it was in the main drag, and it wasn’t a good look for the school or the town.
And at the beach you’re there to swim and tan, not titillate all manner of people. Probably the adults looked on it as just a prank, too, but they ought to have realised it was beyond seedy.
Certainly they weren’t teaching those kids about having respect for themselves or their school. And how could they not have foreseen a world of grief hitting them for letting a girl expose her flesh like that? That’s what I can’t understand — just how hopelessly ignorant these people were.
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